Portal opening



Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).



Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Zorbing our way into a new paradigm




Everything…and I mean everything is being re-defined, re-calibrated and re-set.

Man alive, it makes for a very curious ‘stew’ of elation and ‘oh shit’. It feels like we’re in a Zorb ball bouncing our way into a new way of being – exhilarated and nauseous. And yet it curiously feels okay.

Passion and desire are taking on new meanings. My attention has been drawn to the blog I wrote in March 2011 called ‘Happy to be known as a Pleasurina’. In this I stated that this focus on the feminine was a bit jarring and I didn’t understand it.


Here is the blog:
The practice of tantra is very dear to my heart. Okay, I have many things dear to my heart but all of them lead to one thing – a closeness with me. I love the expression that tantra creates, the beauty of who we are and...
Well, you know I’m heading for a BUT here.
There has been a slight jarring note with-in me about the feminine. Yes, I know the feminine is the creative, nurturing side and we are moving into the feminine Aquarian era and this side has been repressed and is considered submissive and (by some) inferior. On the other end of the scale we have the worship of the Goddess, placing her on a pedestal – this is the jarring note, as it does not seem very balanced to me.
Don’t get me wrong - as a Goddess myself I am very happy that we are a-changing. I’ve been through the hell of feeling helpless and being angry with the masculine – been there, seen it, done it, have cleared it and moved on.
I cannot help sparing a compassionate thought for the masculine? He stood alone without his feminine counterpart to balance him. The two missed each other deeply. The pain caused by their separation created our world as it is today.
I’m probably going to be shot down by the purists but I do feel very strongly about this. I apologise in advance if I get up your nose with this blog. It is not meant to be confrontational, merely thought provoking...which to some could be confrontational.
The deeper hubby and I delved into tantra the stronger the niggle. I kept on wondering, ‘Why the worship’ or the constant focus on the feminine? I was uncomfortable with it but put it down to my own stuff. And yet as the years went by this niggle grew and I finally realised the reason for it.
Let me explain from my perspective, which I’ve been mulling over for a while. With-in each one of us is a masculine and feminine side, whether we are in a male or female body. We are entering a time of balance between the two with-in ourselves, and therefore, a balance with-out as well. Perfect, whole and complete.
Worshipping the feminine surely defeats that balance? Do we not need to treat both with the respect and honour they deserve? When we went through the matriarchal era the Goddess was out of kilter without her counterpart, which has been mirrored by her male counterpart in this current era, albeit rather dark and hard.
With the channels of Lighted Loving they seem to have recognised this need to address this perception. Is it me influencing them or them influencing me? I don’t know. All I know is that what they are teaching resonates with me. There is no worship of either aspect, merely recognition of what each brings and honouring and respecting what each has to offer.
Some of their channels about Cycling Energy I found confusing and was getting myself into a bit of a tizz about how to understand it. Here is what Lighted Loving explained to me:
“When the feminine energy was withdrawn from the planet it was decided to leave behind a few sparks so that a vague memory of the feminine would still be held within the consciousness of humans. There are many of these dim sparks but we will mention two that most of you are familiar with…
Mother Mary was one of these flames, placed upon a pedestal as the ultimate female whose purity and virginity would be worshipped. Sexual tantra also fulfilled this role thus allowing the dim glow of the feminine to be worshipped by those willing to take on part in the role play.
It was necessary for this strong worship to be upheld during the dark times as the masculine energy lashed out in his pain at the separation from his other half.
Very soon the Goddess energy will be back and will flood the earth. It will be a cathartic time for many. Once all has settled down the beautiful balanced partnership of the two – God and Goddess – within each human and in the outer world will create a world of love, peace and harmony. There will be no need for worship of either. Simply a respect and honouring of what each has to offer.”
Each channel they’ve done has been about balancing the masculine and feminine energy with-in and at times it’s confusing. I have come to conclusion that I need to think of me as both God and Goddess with-in, inside a feminine body. You can understand how my brain struggles with this concept, even though it resonates within me!! I have now learnt to let go of analysing and simply be. It’s only when someone asks me that I have difficulty with the explanation. Words are very limiting.
Tantra has given me a beautiful basis from which to work for which I am truly grateful. I am now moving beyond that.
And so I find myself happy to be called a Pleasurina as it really says who I am. A Goddess complete and whole, standing with her God and creating a world of balance filled with love, pleasure and harmony. End

Back to the present:

When I recently came across Orgasmic Meditation, I was enthused for others. Hubby and I have been there and worked through this. For many it will be an amazing eye opener and the start of a beautiful way forward which I can recommend wholeheartedly. If you want to know more, please go to Free introduction or Orgasmic Meditation.

But for us to merely focus on this, seemed to be sideways step…and once again the niggle about the masculine ‘missing out’ came to the fore.

This weekend I had the most amazing insight - I have had my time of being ‘worshipped’ and loved by my soul-mate which is an incredible experience I can recommend for any man/woman. As the new entity and I find our feet within the frame work of friendship, it strikes me that now is the time for both to be equally held and loved. It is time to bring the Divine Masculine as well as the Divine Feminine to the fore. 

These last six months have been one of honouring the Divine Masculine. All our focus has been on hubby and helping him to find the space of BEing within himself. But even through this focus on him, it has helped my Divine Masculine to understand. At the same time the Divine Feminine has been growing stronger. They have supported and loved each other in ways that I would never have dreamed of. 

And yes, I admit I was little out of my depth, ony because I did not understand...but now I do.

We are now embarking on doing a mixture of both. Honouring and loving each aspect and creating a safe space within which both can do this without any agendas or goals. This can in itself be very difficult as the mind pops in to add its little misgivings. But my heart is leading the way and so I follow it. It certainly knows a far more beautiful way of being.

I understand that masculine and feminine have had ‘roles’ to play, but surely as we move forward into the new paradigm these roles will change dramatically in ways we have not even considered.  None of us know or even have an inkling of what the Divine Masculine or Divine Feminine are truly like. We can only surmise. These understanding are hidden within us, but as yet it is not time for us to fully understand and so we move into the new paradigm bits and pieces are being revealed. We are merely going up a notch to find the ‘bigger’ picture. Each time we move up it will change quite dramatically.

This is merely my understanding and might be totally different to someone else. We are all on our own personal journeys that are adding to the collective. Each one of us had part of the huge puzzle. My theory will probably change as I learn and understand more. Currently my body is processing this new idea and integrating it. But it certainly resonates within my cells and once my body fully understands this new idea, it will simply become part of me. What happens to me, happens to hubby. He is still my thermometer.

When hubby and I were soul-mates – we were aspects of Athena.  Her archetype was that of the Goddess of War…and Truth and Wisdom…but basically she was viewed as the ultimate feminine warrior. Everyone saw her as androgynous and therefore complete…until it was revealed to me that she had a twin which slightly shocked me. Mainly because it felt like we’d believed in a lie firstly and secondly, she was not this complete entity. It took me a while to get over it.

As we need to move forward into this new paradigm with ‘new’ eyes and ways of living…it was time for Aeolus to make himself known…if not to all, certainly to me.

In the higher dimensions Athena is both Athena and Aeolus. She is he and he is her. So despite the fact that my soul-mate had vacated the body and in his place came the twin…it is still Athena in a different form. Her more complete form…and yet she has split into two…once again.

The reason for this is that hubby and I are to anchor a more complete version. It is not the absolute complete obviously because as we move up through the dimensions it will change once again. I am beginning to understand what Aeolus tried to show me a while ago about a splitting candle. I don’t think I’ve seen the ‘full’ picture as yet...but I am starting to understand more clearly. 

But…and I stress this…it is my understanding that is not yet complete. There is a great deal missing. I am merely expressing what I feel currently as hubby and I Zorb down the cliff at breakneck speed :-)


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