Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Thursday, 10 December 2015

Painful manifestation of my emotions

I felt out of sorts on the flight out to Cape Town. Nothing I could put my finger on, but assumed it was just part of the excitement about seeing everyone.

I didn't feel much like eating, so didn't, cos as you probably know, airline food is nothing to get excited about.

I managed to doze the whole way, so the 12 hours passed quickly. But sleeping in awkward positions and being stuck in a cramped seat is not my idea of fun. I have flown so much over the years that I have started to dislike it. My body always objects.

Every time I fly I see an angel surrounded by flames standing in different areas on the plane as we take off and land, but this time I saw two.

On arrival over the next few days my back started to hurt. It felt almost like my kidneys (kidneys represent fear) were infected and the pain radiated down my backside and thighs. I also had a headache. I ignored it during the day as I was having so much fun, but at night it was incredibly uncomfortable.

I knew it was something to do with my emotions and believed it would resolve. There were a few closures that I needed to make whilst in South Africa, although I wasn't sure what they were. I did some tapping, clearing of my energy field, but still it persisted, not getting any better.

Finally my mother suggested I see her body stress release practitioner in Cape Town. This practitioner I used to see regularly before we emigrated to the UK. She looks after a few members of my family. I was very blessed and extremely grateful that she was prepared to make time to fit me in at such short notice, despite having a long waiting list.

Oh my!!! What a relief. It was good to connect with her once again and catch up on all that was happening in our lives.

We both reckon that the last few months of stress about everything had finally come to a head in my body.

I've been feeling great since then.

Driving around the Western Cape (which is huge), my memory was jogged by so much. The friendliness of the people, the accents, hearing Afrikaans again...and seeing the FEAR. So many houses surrounded by high 7 foot walls, topped by electric fences and connected to armed response.

I stayed at my brother's house in Cape Town and felt extremely claustrophobic.

Electric gates, garage doors, safety gates on the doors, everything locked, no windows open on the ground floor, feeling hemmed in by lack of flow of fresh air. At night he asked me whether I wanted to open the window in my room more or not as once he activated the alarm I wouldn't be able to touch it. He also warned me that I could walk around upstairs, but not to set foot downstairs as it would activate the alarm. How awful to live like that.

Always checking before leaving the house, or stepping out of the car. Contemplating where is safe to walk and where the most people will be. An inability to enjoy the beauty of the country by hiking, instead we must look from the safety of buildings or cars. So sad.

We drove past an area just past Kommetjie  where the tar on the road was melted and had holes in it from the frequent "toyi-toying" (dance of defiance and protest) demonstrations and tyre burning.

Out in the country it seems less harrowing, but still everyone has alarms, burglar bars on the windows, safety gates

Horrible reminder of why we left and will not go back. I like the safety of the UK, where I can leave all my windows and doors open without any fear. But I suppose, if we were desperately homesick, we'd put up with it. It must be very difficult to not feel the fear when you are surrounded by it day and night.

But despite this, the majority of people are very cheerful and happy. I never once felt threatened - well truthfully I never feel threatened wherever I am - so I suppose it doesn't really count. Everywhere we went we were greeted with so much friendliness and an attitude of "nothing is too much trouble". From waiters to shop assistants through to friends and family.

Each time we went into a restaurant, I was reminded of the excellent waitering service that SA has. All smiles and welcome. Always attentive and the managers constantly asking if everything is alright.

We spent an afternoon in Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens which nestle at the foot of Table Mountain. Oh my, it is even better than I remember. As children we often had school outings to Kirstenbosch and our family used to come here with our children and a picnic basket at Christmas time for Carols by Candlelight.

It was buzzing and heaving with people. School children, weddings, tourists, picnics, etc. We regularly stopped to chat with strangers.

We walked around enjoying the sweltering sunshine (my body slowly thawing out after the cold of the UK) slowly making our way to the Boomslang, a canopy walk over Kirstenbosch.

We stopped at the Moyo Restaurant for lunch. Our waitress was a young girl from Johannesburg who'd moved down to Cape Town because of work. She asked if we were having a "mother and daughter" day out. Even though she was cheerful, I could sense her sadness at mising her mum. I gave her a huge hug when we left. Such a sweet girl and nothing too much trouble.

I was also asked by someone if I was French...lol.

The menu was an eclectic mix of cultures and very delicious. Amazing decor. Stunning place and somewhere I would highly recommend.

We were serenaded by three singers and then a face painter came over to tattoo our faces.

It was a lovely day.

The Boomslang