Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, even with tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Friday, 1 January 2016

I'm alright...I think

So...last week was a bit of a doozy when it came to stress.

I'd been worrying about my medical health check for New Zealand immigration expiring at the end of this month. An intensive search to see whether we could lodge the visa application without the South African Police Clearance brought up some interesting options.

Some, on several different forums, had said that they'd done so and the immigration were okay with it, and in some cases a conditional visa was granted.

I phoned the London Visa Application Centre who said that it could be possible, but it depended on the case officer allocated to us.

Getting desperate I decided I'd do this. I took the parcel down to WH Smith (local news agent) so they could DHL it to London for me. He said we were just in time as that day was the last collection before Christmas.

Wednesday when I got back from work, I tried to track it, but it came up as not existing. In the morning I tried again, but nada. Texting them got the same response, so Greg phoned DHL. They couldn't find it on their system.

I marched down to WH Smith to ask what was going on. Turns out the DHL guy never collected the parcels and ours was still sitting there.

I got my money back and decided to take it through to London myself. When I arrived at the station, loads of people were milling around and on the timetable all trains were delayed. Some poor soul had committed suicide on the track up the way from us, so they weren't sure when the trains would start up again.

What on earth is going on?

My brother suggested that maybe I have not quite resolved my reservations about moving to NZ and therefore I was throwing obstacles in the way. He could be right. He also suggested that maybe I should make a decision that if such and such does/doesn't happen, that this is an indication of where I am heading. I gotta decide what that such and such is going to be.

Still haven't...trying to keep my options open...and in doing so am frustrating and stressing myself.


Anyways in the end I sent the visa application by special delivery with Royal Mail.

Please, please, please may there be a good outcome. 

Tuesday this week I decided to do some locum work as I can make triple what I am currently earning - relocating is expensive.  I might as well, cos this visa thing could take a while.

Oh my word, it is as bad as applying for immigration! The reams of paperwork, frustration and stress...enough to bring on the nightmare I write about below. I decided to go with one agency only, as to do this in triplicate would have turned me into jelly.

Anyways managed to get it done in record time (I'm a pro these days!) and they offered me three positions.

One I was interested in as it was in London and wouldn't be too much of a hardship getting there. Unfortunately the hospital had found someone in the meanwhile to fill the job. So the next option was also in London but it was full time and they wanted skills that are outside of the scope of my abilities, so that was pushed to one side. 

Finally, the only one left is one that I didn't really want to consider. It is up north in Yorkshire - in the midst of the worst of the flooded areas. But it is a job that I can do. The CV has been sent to them.

Maybe, on reflection, there is a more subtle reason I should be there. Some healing for that area?

We'll see what happens. 

Everyone I know is a closet visa expert. I have had so many crazy suggestions about what I should do. The only person I know understands is my manager as she emigrated from USA to UK. She told me that she spent most of the time having meltdowns, the whole thing overwhelming, frustrating and makes a person feel like a criminal.  

Last night's dream encapsulated the frustration I am experiencing. 

I dreamed that we were staying at someone's house. In my dream I woke stuck to the bedsheets. On investigation I found that I'd bled all over the bed...as though I'd started my period.

I was mortified as it had seeped through on to the mattress. How on earth was I going to explain this to my hostess?

(Holy crappola - this reminds me of days long gone!)

In the dream I was slightly puzzled as I no longer menstruate. 

The next thing I was running around outside, loads of people milling around and I kept on thinking I need to go to the toilet, but then would get distracted.

Eventually I did...and discovered to my astonishment that the blood was coming from my anus...which shocked me awake. Thank goodness it was only a dream, but a very puzzling one, until I had a look at Louise Hay's explanation:

ANORECTAL BLEEDING: Anger & Frustration.
Affirmation: I trust the process of life. Only right & good action is taking place in my life.

Yep, that about explains it. I have been warned...