Slow and cautious 'evil genius'!

On Monday night a colleague and I were discussing my and hubby's future plans of travelling. As we plan to do quite a bit, hubby is buying an extra four weeks of holiday so that we can do all this travelling. Of course, I did not even think about myself and how much holiday time I would need.

So as the words were coming out of my mouth, I felt some resonance within me and a while later it suddenly hit me that this could possibly be the reason (very sneaky) that I have suddenly upped and decided to resign.

I know it will take them a while as they need to fill three vacancies and people for our kinda job are difficult to find.



I had not thought this all through…but now that I have it seems to make sense.

I can stay on the bank and earn the money for travelling and then be able to take the time off when I want. I can also work the nights I want instead of having it dictated, i.e. instead of having to do a shift on Friday nights, I can now work during the week. Fridays are, needless to say the most difficult nights to fill. I did my share of Friday shifts when I first started, but when I got the opportunity to change it – I did – but now as everyone has had their share of Friday shifts – it is back to me again. Can’t say I was happy about it…

I am going to temp as I did for many years as a legal secretary when I arrived in London. It gave me so much scope for flexibility and to take long holidays if I wanted.

So…I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe because I’d requested that the transition be gentle and I not leap off the cliff totally into the unknown…I have been granted this wish without realising I was granting myself this wish.

I can be so sneaky at times and has brought to light my own manipulations and hidden agenda. Everything in my reality is there because I created it. So all these hidden agendas and manipulations that I see lately – I am doing exactly the same thing, aren’t I? It is me talking to me and bringing to light that which I harbour within me.

I am not as open and transparent as I would like to think I am. Sheesh, how much more are we going to have to change? I don’t think any of us know. It seems I am connecting all the dots and, at times, not all of them are ‘nice’. 'Evil genius' emerging!

Food for thought, eh?