My hubby lectured me yesterday about my attitude to emigrating. Said it was "weird" not to want to go, as it encompassed all the dreams we'd ever had. Everything we want rolled into one.
"What is stopping you from that?"
He is so ready to move, he'd pack up and go NOW.
Nothing like a right royal bollocking to shock one into action.
Initially I sulked like a teenager, but gradually I came round.
So this morning, I decided to scrub the shower and work off any frustrations I had with myself, the repetitive work helping me to sink deep within myself.
Much to my surprise, I found out that there was nothing there. No beliefs or emotions standing in my way. I'd just become so used to the stance that the "fake", pretty insignificant wall was still standing. When I pushed at it, it fell apart. The relief was overwhelming.
Very bizarre...to have a belief about a belief?
An instant vision popped up - I could see myself holding my passport with the granted visa. It was the same very visible and tangible experience that I had before I wrote my exam in July. I saw myself dancing with joy, a paper in my hand. I held on to that very real experience, immersing myself the emotions over and over - it spurred me on to study harder.
Today's vision is exactly the same. Guess what I will be focusing on?