What a strange old week...

What a strange old week it’s been. Change all around once again…I’m having difficulty keeping up!

In September I had a dream that someone approached me at work and asked me if I would take over the managerial job. Eh?

I asked why and was told that our manager had resigned! I asked what was wrong with the tech above me doing it but it seems that she had her hands full with other stuff. I pretty much ignored that dream. I do have prophetic dreams quite often but I just figured this was simply my mind working overtime…until this week.

Huh…guess who has resigned and decided to go back to Australia -our manager.

Now let’s have a look at the hierarchy…in the last few months our original manager has taken a step sideways, as she is making noises about retiring soon and the new PSG tech (that was employed last year) moved into the managerial position. Up into second position went the technician who is just above me. Nowhere in this scheme of things did I feature. Just as well, cos I don’t really want the responsibility. So initially I was third in line, then went down to fourth in line…and now in one fell swoop…I move up again.

Hmm…

I am not sure what is going to happen. All I know is that it took 2 years to find the current PSG degreed technician (who is now the current/resigned manager) - they are difficult to find here in the UK. Will they train and promote from within? Who knows with the NHS. I am not going to hold my breath or wonder too much. But I am curious as to where this is going and what, if anything, is being manoeuvred into place. What kind of ‘place’, I have no idea.

Years ago I visioned myself in charge, and often when posts have become available it was assumed I would go for them…but have dropped that as I no longer wish for it. Is this that old vision playing itself out and I have been half-hearted in changing it? Dunno…maybe I harbour a secret desire to be in charge. Or maybe I keep dangling the carrot to divert myself from a certain path I have chosen…to see how much I want it.

This new development certainly brings things to a grinding halt…although on Friday night my ex-manager and I brainstormed a few ideas and I think we can get this limping dinosaur on the road again…but it all depends on how the financial hierarchy view it. They don’t like spending money if they can find a cheaper short cut. They tend to put numbers first and patient care and continuity second. And truthfully, I am so tired of the battle. I can see so clearly the way forward but they are constantly throwing obstacles in the way…all because of the bottom line of the figures.

We limp along and when things get really bad they have to throw big money at it to resolve it…which really defeats the whole object of saving money. Short term thinking without the long term view.

Efficiency can be achieved in the way they want, they simply have to go about it differently and think outside the box. I’ve lost my cheerful chap attitude today…I’m feeling tired and want to move on…but with all this sudden change I am wondering if I do? Or maybe it is time to leave the floundering ship. I wish I knew what I’ve got in store for myself. It will unfold as it should.

What I do know is that despite it feeling like the energy is all over the place…underneath this chaos something beautiful is growing.

And now on to something completely different :-) -

This weekend hubby and I have been visited by cats without our two knowing they were there.

This has happened once before in 2008/9. A white Persian used to sneak into the house and lie under the bed whenever I was sleeping after a night shift. None of us ever knew she was there until she casually came out from under the bed. This went on for months…she ignored our two who used to hiss at her. Her main and only focus was me.  She’d meow at me for a while and then leave. We have no idea where she came from. She used to come and go at will, in spite of our two cats not liking her presence in the house. She had no interest in food or anyone else, except me. And then she disappeared – we’ve never seen her since.

It was after this that there were huge changes both within and without with regard to my relationship with hubby...and all of it was for the better.

Now this weekend we have been visited by two strange cats – we think we know where they come from. One is a black and white Persian who lives down the road. The other, a small black cat, lives next door.

I figure there is a message in all of this so decided to look up the symbolism of cats.

Cats are quite resourceful and tend to give us messages of change, flexibility of adaptability. Often, when a cat makes an uncommon appearance in our lives it is a message for us to shake up our habitual routines and make some fresh changes in our lives, as well as be more flexible in our thinking.

Cats can also be quite aloof, and this too is often a message for us to distance ourselves from people or situations. Sometimes the best cure for a problem is to step away from it - the cat inherently realizes this, and we would be wise to recognize this need as well.

Lastly, the cat animal symbolism is about mystery. Unfortunately, its unpredictability has given the cat a bad name in some areas of folk lore, specifically witchcraft. When, in actuality, this is an asset that can be harnessed by us humans.

Sometimes displaying very strange behavior and antics, you can never really pin a cat down. Simply put, the cat animal symbolism is synonymous with creativity and psychic power because of its sometimes unorthodox & “mysterious” behavior. This is also reflected in the Tarot deck as we see the cat in the Queen of Wands card.

The good news is, this mystery is a message to us that we have the power over illusion. Cat animal symbolism reminds us to not fall prey to false beliefs, to not be a fool out of ignorance and derive understanding from our own internal wisdom. The cat beckons us to realize that when we turn within to our own hearts, minds and souls, and trust in ourselves we will always be shown the truth of matters.

In August I was visited by an etheric cat who said she was here to help me move forward. This is what I wrote about it - As usual on a few occasions when I brush my teeth in the morning, I have felt the brush of something on my feet. Lately it has been a small longhaired ginger cat. She has a flat face like a Persian and her hair is very long…so long you cannot see her legs. I have finally asked who she is and why she has been hanging around quite a bit lately. She (edited cos its a long story) is here to help me with my future work.

Since then I’ve not really paid her too much attention, but am aware of her in the background. Maybe it is time to start taking her seriously.

I am a tad confused at the mo…does it show?

Sigh…why can’t things be straight forward and orderly?