Not fitting

I would love to say that these last four days have been fabulous in my 5D reality, but the truth is that it has been a bit like wearing a hessian bag…itchy and makes me irritable.

In South Africa we have winds called Berg winds – or in English ‘mountain’ winds which blow hot and heavy and make you feel irritable. I feel like that – like I am being contained within something and have expanded so much that I feel irritable within the confines of my skin. One minute hot and sweaty and then cold -swinging from one to another with no sight of balance at all.

I’ve had a headache for the last two weeks. Nothing major – simply a slight ache covering my whole head – inside and out. It is not pleasant but I am not always aware of it and then when I get irritable the pain in my head flares up. I have lost my temper twice which is very unusual for me.

I went out with friends on Wednesday night and hated every minute of it. I felt so out of synch and had difficulty hearing what was being said. I’m also feeling quite tearful and burst into tears regularly. Even those things that normally cheer me up are having no effect.

I’ve lost contact with that peaceful place within me as well as my unseen helpers…although I did connect briefly with my son’s gatekeeper who gave me a bit of information about my son and a few predictions that have come true since then. Other than that I seem to be cut off.

Now I’m not complaining…well, maybe I am…but I created and agreed to this.

Things are hotting up energy-wise. I also look as awful as I feel – bags under my puffy eyes and achy all over my body. And yet, when I walk into work I slip into ‘work mode’ and am my usual self, although underneath it I can feel the irritability scratching at me. I wonder if snakes feel like this when they shed their outer skin?

My gut feeling is that in the run up to 01.01.12 we (as in hubby and I) are receiving major downloads fast and furious making changes to the body – something to do with the sacred union next year and the sexual matrix. I so couldn’t be bothered to find out what, though. I have reached a stage where analysing and figuring it out has taken a back seat. I’m going with it and wallowing. Not sure where this whole journey will spit me out…will be interesting to see…but in the meanwhile I am not a nice person to be around.

It seems to be a ‘dark night of the soul’…again. Dunno how many times I’ve been through one of those.