Children

In April we said farewell to our 20-year-old daughter who was setting off on her gap year in Australia. Like all mothers (and fathers) I was a bit apprehensive. We’d had a day of tears the day before as she’d come to the conclusion that, despite being excited about spreading her wings, she’d not see us again for a long time.

As a mother I found this difficult. This is my baby that I’d nurtured from the day she was conceived until the day she flew the coup. I’d taught her all I know about energy and how to use it and I had to trust that she would draw on the knowledge she’d gained through my actions and guidance over the years. Experience was what she needed.

Relationships

Relationships are a fact of life. Whether it’s with your dog, your cat, your parents, in-laws and out-laws, children or wife/husband. Included in this is your relationship with your house, your finances, your car and anything else you can think of.

Hubby and I have been together for 25 years. We’ve been through a lot – buying and selling properties, raising children, moving countries, losing parents and finally - loving and hating each other. There’s nothing like a relationship to really teach you how close love and hate are.

Slowly

Immersing yourself in the alternate world can be frightening and overwhelming. Do you need to throw yourself in at the deep end or can you do it slowly? That’s entirely up to you. Everyone is different and we all have standards we wish to adhere to. Dipping your big toe might be all that you need at the moment.

Optimism

I was shocked and saddened to read a document sent to me by my father about the collapse of South Africa. It pretty much says that it’s going the same way the rest of Africa has gone. Following shortly after that was despair. I feel like I’m fighting against thunder. But it’s not only in Africa that this is happening. All over the world countries are collapsing and the governments are trying to maintain the illusion.

Pain, guilt and suffering

I was asked the question – why is it so difficult to make changes? There are several levels to the question as well as the answer.

On the physical level there is the brain and the body. Within the brain it is necessary to change the synapses of a particular habit i.e. imagine we started off walking through the jungle and had to hack our way to create a path. With use that path became a large footway and over the years turned into a small road then became a highway. This is pretty much how a habit forms. Through use it becomes a highway. Changing that habit means hacking your way through the jungle to create a new pathway and it starts all over again. Sometimes it’s just easier to climb in your car and use the highway than pick up a machete and hack your way through the jungle.

Courage

You know what? It takes courage to take a different path than the one we usually take each day. We become creatures of habit and do everything on automatic without truly thinking and feeling what we are doing. So we exist. When last did we stop and actually feel – feel the happiness, joy or the pain?

Taking note and making a decision every minute of the day takes a lot of focus and energy. It’s easier for us to just let things happen. When we take a conscious decision to change how we feel about something, it changes the energy surrounding us.

Change

My life is poised and waiting for change. How do I know? A feeling. Things have changed dramatically since my illness. Nothing I can put my finger on...

Despite having slipped back into my normal routine I feel different somewhere underneath everything. I still carry a lot of crap but something has shifted deep down inside me.

Reflections

Our children reflect how we feel about ourselves and the world out there. We are their role models and because none of us are clearing our issues within ourselves everything around us becomes more and more dysfunctional.

Both my children when they were very young had recurring colds and flu causing secondary infections such as ear infections. The ears help bring balance to the body and are connected to the kidneys that store fear. Every time my children were becoming infected they were reflecting my fear back at me. At the time I did not know it but through the years of experimentation and coming to understand how the subtle bodies work it became more and more apparent that as I worked through my own issues and cleared them that my children were becoming healthier.

Illness

Groan. Life can be such a bitch at times. I’ve just had the worst five days ever. It all started on Wednesday. I’d done a night shift Tuesday night and spent most of the day on Wednesday in bed. Mostly I have difficulty staying in bed to catch up on my eight hours and land up sleeping from 8 until approximately 12 and then maybe having a nap in the afternoon. But...that day I had no energy. I stayed in bed and slept and slept and slept. Thursday I had to get up to go to work (during the day). When I woke in the morning I felt awful. Still really tired and my back was aching. I dragged myself through the day. It wasn’t too bad actually. If I was focused on something I forgot about my painful body but as soon as I sat down to rest it all came back with a vengeance.

Balance

Whilst doing the ironing I watched the opening of the Commonwealth Games in Delhi. I don’t do the ironing cause I’m a stereotypical wife. I do it because I have to iron my uniform for work and offered to do hubby’s shirts as well. For years hubby did his own shirt ironing cause being an ex-army man, like most older South African men, he irons far better than I do. I never lifted a finger to iron anything. Ever. Not even my kid’s clothes. I’m sure most mums would look at my children and feel quite sorry for them. Pffft, did I care? Not in the least and neither for that matter, did my kids. I offered on one occasion recently to iron their clothes and they both looked at me as though I was mad. Enough said.