Children

In April we said farewell to our 20-year-old daughter who was setting off on her gap year in Australia. Like all mothers (and fathers) I was a bit apprehensive. We’d had a day of tears the day before as she’d come to the conclusion that, despite being excited about spreading her wings, she’d not see us again for a long time.

As a mother I found this difficult. This is my baby that I’d nurtured from the day she was conceived until the day she flew the coup. I’d taught her all I know about energy and how to use it and I had to trust that she would draw on the knowledge she’d gained through my actions and guidance over the years. Experience was what she needed.


So armed with a list of things to do each night or morning and how to create safeguards and protections she started on her adventure far away from the protected sanctuary of our home. Like most mothers would, I’ve reinforced these protections and safeguards around her every day in the belief that eventually she, and I, would be strong enough for her to be left on her own to do it.

Our little family unit of four – hubby, me, our son and daughter, our two cats (one boy and one girl) had up until then been a very balanced one. Hubby and I had shared equally in the raising of our children. Of course. How could I ever live any other way?

Daughter’s leaving created a hole in the energy field of our lives. It took us approximately 4-5 months to adjust to the changes. Instead of the feminine and masculine being equal, I now had to deal with more testosterone than I’d had to previously. It wasn’t harsh, just different and once again I was on a learning curve.

I’d understood our daughter, because we were both female. I’d understood our son until he hit puberty and then things started to change subtly. He was no longer the androgynous little boy but a young hormonal teenager with a growing amount of testosterone running around in his developing body. I remember hubby being confused by our daughter as she went through puberty and here I was in the same boat. I had to take a step back and allow hubby to take over.

Initially, I was worried about the two of them butting heads. But lo and behold, they enjoyed each other’s company. He (and his friends) loves hubby’s wickedly dirty sense of humour, his no nonsense attitude, calling a spade a "&%$" shovel, back slapping, wrestling and all the other things they tend to do. Gone is my little boy who used to think mom was the bee’s knees and dad was slightly scary.

Even though both my little people have grown up I still reinforce their safeguards and protection and will probably continue for a long time. This way I can ensure that despite any bad situations they may find themselves in, it doesn’t touch them, but flows around them. This gives me piece of mind because I trust in the value of protective love.

But does this weird stuff make my children odd. No, it’s made them stronger, able to see things differently. They are practical and down to earth (despite what you might think!). Our daughter parties and drinks like a teenager, gets into and out of scrapes, but she’s never been in the path of harm. Negative energy and situations flow around her and our son as it touches all those around them, making them the rocks of stability upon whom others depend for help. They’re both learning not to give away too much of their power as they’re very compassionate and giving. I can never give them the experience, only hold the safe space within which they can learn.

They’ve always known that what I eat, breath and sleep is not what everyone else does. There have been some years of eye rolling and sighing, but never any disrespect. And…most importantly, I’ve never shoved it down their throat. I left them alone and given them a lot of space to make their own mind up. They knew and still know where to come if they need advice. I’ve learnt tolerance and acceptance. Never pushing, only guiding and supporting. Our children have come through us to experience their own life.

This is what parenting is and has been like for me. I’ve loved it and will continue to do so as I step back more and more and watch with pride as they make their own mistakes, laugh, love, grow and follow their life path.