To be or not to be

To be or not to be…that is the question!

Haha…

A few things that cropped up during my recent meditations, creating a frisson of recognition within me, was to do with why I am here. I’d always wondered what it was that I am supposed to do.

I’ve taught, counselled and helped many others on their way and yet over the last 4 years or so I’ve lost the need for this. I keep attempting half heartedly to resurrect it, but nada, nothing…which has puzzled me as the vooma has disappeared.

Finally I understand. My main task is to simply BE, to encompass the energies, anchor them and by embracing and becoming a certain frequency or resonance, I make a huge difference even though I might not have tangible evidence of this.

Years ago I asked the question about blogging. Did it matter if no-one reads it, cos it seemed so silly to blog for no reason at all? The answer was no. By doing what I do, I anchor the energy of where I am, as a frequency. This is important for me.

Writing about my experiences will leave energetic crumbs along the path through the forest. Writing also helps me to sort out in my mind what is happening and thus creates a diary for me. Reading, on occasion, my diary I can see how it all beautifully and windingly leads me to understandings and insights.

We have not quite reached the stage where we will communicate in any other way. As we are still very much tied up in the physicality of everything, blogging remains a past time for many of us documenting our journey. There is something out there for everyone at any one given moment in time when needed.I so understand this now.

Lately I have been able to feel each and every person whether they are in physical contact with me or not. As I expand more and more to encompass the whole of my world within my heart, the stronger this is.

My experience on Saturday cemented and anchored the acceptance of this state.

Everything I do, even the blogging, is secondary to me simply BEing here. My journey with-in myself is so very important, far more important than anything else I might accomplish in my life.

It also explains why for many, many years I’ve had this vision of me standing within a crowd of thousands simply standing with my hands in the air, seemingly doing, what looked like, nothing. On Saturday I was given the expanded version as I was ready to see and understand. I am, in fact, deep within myself in that special place of stillness and peace and this energy is emanating out to all around me. I don’t have to DO anything but simply BE here. I’d been told this before but I did not feel it within my body…now I do.

All my life I have felt this need to BE. Quite often I will be in a crowd and be ignored. This has confused me a great deal and I have tried very hard to ‘fit’ in and actively take part, when I didn’t need to - it was a driven need to conform. It is truly amazing that we do know, deep down, what we are supposed to be doing and yet cultural conditioning creates expectations and therefore confusion and frustration.

I’ve always enjoyed being ‘behind the scenes’, either sitting quietly on the periphery or in amongst others - I now understand it is not a ‘shortcoming’ or shyness at all. It is simply what I am here for and therefore it is not necessary for me to drop ‘pearls of wisdom’ or have a high profile. There are others far more suited to this because this is the task they set for themselves before incarnating.

So as a result I am going to drop the need to DO and simply BE myself, thereby embracing that with which I have charged myself with in this lifetime.

Shortly after this revelation, I was visited by a tiger. Although I am born in the year of the tiger, have an inner tiger and have loved tigers for a long, long time, I have never ever been visited by one in the ethers.

This simply reinforces my insight as tigers, despite being the biggest cats in the World and representing 'strength', are solitary, elusive creatures who avoid contact with others.

But...having said that...I was also visited by a Fish Eagle, with its haunting call, representing leadership and independence.

Hmm....