|We hold, in our hands, the potential for happiness and love. |
It is up to us to find it with-in the maelstrom of emotional signs we place along the way.
Have you ever noticed that when you get ready to make a big change in your life, everything seems to fall apart or life can suddenly get harder? It's a healing crisis which isn't a crisis in healing, it's a crisis in transformation. At the point where we are getting ready to step off of the cliff of disbelief and soar into the empty space of our potential (which is only empty because we haven't filled it yet), every fear from every past failure (or what we believe are failures) rises up to remind us that we 'can't', we night fall, or crash and burn. - Jennifer Hoffman 26 August 2013
Sunday 01.09.2013 - Hell man, these words would perfectly sum up the past week. I have been through many healing crises in my life, and have just gone through another one. I remember thinking to myself a few weeks ago, that if I am ready to move into the next phase, let me do so. And BAM! healing crisis...just to let me know this request was heard...and the change is happening!
I gotta learn to not make such declarations that my Soul takes very seriously...although 'it' would not take these statements seriously unless I was ready.
I am hurting and smarting somewhat, but in a good way. I know that these 'demons' (for want of a better word) of ours that we face, are merely helping us to release and move on...but even so...emotionally it can be very hard.
It has been a very charged time and emotions are still running high around me. I seem to be surrounded by crises - at work, at home and extended family. The ability to remain detached has been difficult even though most of these crises have not been mine, and my urge to step in and rescue has been strong.
It has always been a battle with myself of knowing where the fine line between support and interference should be drawn.
It is almost as if the 'old' is clawing at me to keep me there - which it is mostly because of the familiarity that a part of me feels - 'better the devil you know, than don't know'. And yet I know it is something within me that is drawing these dramas to me, but am rather perplexed as to why. So, it is this 'something' that I need to attend to, not everyone else's. *Sigh*
Today - I wrote the above section yesterday whilst still in the midst of everything and after reading it through today, I realise that I have come a long way since the 'old' days, where I'd be worried about appearing cold and emotionless about someone else's problem. These days, that doesn't bother me as much as the need to help does. But having said that, what I have noticed this time round, is that the 'I HAVE TO' urge is not as strong and I have been able to give support but at the same time stand back - I'm not as invested in another's world as I used to be.
Consistently over the last week, I've heard the words, 'Thank you for listening'. It had not really penetrated until now. I've just realised that this is all I should be doing...listening, accepting where someone is, and without any judgement allowing them the process of working through whatever is happening...and this is what I'd been doing without realising I was doing it. Meanwhile, my mental processes kept hammering at me to DO something more.
So, from my perspective, I would say that this is a result. The pain of release was my own stuff and no-one else's. I am now in the final stages of healing that which has been released and feel so much clearer and freer. In all honesty, looking back, it really wasn't that bad. It is merely my perception while bogged down with my own stuff that made it seem so.
I thank, with appreciation, all of those involved, this past week, in helping me to realise, understand this...and see how far I have come. Without you, I would never grow.
P.S. This is a link to Jim Self's Planetary Update for September 2013 sent by a friend, which has helped me to understand this recent experience.