Orgasmic tantra

On to a subject close to my heart and one which the world views with a jaundiced eye. Say the word tantra and people have visions of free love, promiscuity, sex, sex and more sex. But that only covers one aspect of tantra.

Tantra - a sanskrit word meaning ‘woven together’.

Alchemy of tantra – to be in the moment with your divine spark weaving love through the tapestry of your life with reverence and respect.


Tantra is unconditional. It is embodied in the love you have for family, friends, pets, and indeed for the world. Side effects of this pleasure, happiness, giving and receiving, living in the now, and of course something which is ever present in my life – humour. Although how that is possible with the impassive angels of balance, I don’t know– wait...did I just see a glimmer of a twinkle in their eyes? No, it must have been a reflection of the light.

As lightworkers we work with the alchemy of tantra all the time. We know and understand the aspects of unconditional love for a partner, child or pet, the pleasure of giving, silver linings on dark clouds, hope in every nasty situation and so much more.

So now I’m going to discuss the sexual aspect of tantra. Hah, I hear you cry – I knew it, it’s all about sex. No, not really...maybe...yes...

We’ve been taught that sex is sinful and our genitals are to be hidden. You are able to come into your full power through an orgasm but it hasn’t been allowed. We’ve been kept in the dark and love making has become something sinful instead of beautiful.

Imagine the build up of energy toward an orgasm. If you’re focusing half your mind on what to buy for dinner, the difficulties of your job, does your partner like your body, is your child okay, is your mom going to phone, etc., what kind of energy are you creating? The orgasm is an extremely powerful energy and an energy that you are sending through your body, that of your partner and then out into the world.

A true full body orgasm is meant to be a healing experience. What sexual tantra teaches us is to get out of our own way and into the pleasurable existence of love. You are at your most vulnerable and most powerful during love making. By vulnerable I don’t mean you are helpless – I mean you are open, all barriers are down.

Do you take the time to explore your partner’s body and energy with pleasure or do you only have one goal in mind – that of release. What about the journey toward that release?

The taste and texture of your partner’s body, the noises of pleasure they make, the dimples in unexpected places, the expression in their eyes. In giving you are receiving. When your chakras are aligned with each other you are feeding each other. From one heart to another. The rush of energy is amazing. How able are you to give pleasure as well as take pleasure. Can you lie back and allow your partner their exploration of your body? Let them get to know you and your body as well as their own?

When we first arrived in London hubby and I decided to try out some tantra. We’d never really explored it before hand. We were staying at my brother’s place while he and his fiance were travelling around the world (sorry, bro, this is something you might not want to know about - block your ears). They had a book on tantra. We avidly read it from cover to cover and then decided to put the exercises into practice.

Of course, I never took into account the frenetic energy of London and the results were scary and mind boggling.

The permanent state of arousal was uncomfortable, as was the build up of the energy. It reached a stage where I couldn’t walk past a light bulb without it exploding or switching on and off. The TV in my brother’s bedroom kept on going on and off – all of which was super heart stopping in the middle of the night when we were fast asleep.

Needless to say we stopped and things calmed down. It took a while before we were confident enough to take up the practice again many years later. Now it’s become a way of life and I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

Sometimes it brings up unresolved issues and we will drift apart and won’t have the same level of intimacy. Once we’ve cleared it, it is back to the deep intimate contact until we touch on something else.

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