Flexibility and patience

Hmm...flexibility and patience...something demanded of us as we grow and learn.

I wasn’t given much information over the years about what or who I am. It slowly trickled into my brain. I gather if I was given all the information in one go my brain would have imploded and my body would fall apart. That wouldn’t have been so great for me. I used to get so impatient and want to forge ahead and be all and everything - a fountain of knowledge, someone of great wisdom, the guru, the one who transformed people’s lives and healed the world. It’s taken me a while to realise it’s me that needs to be all those things to myself.


Nowadays I understand and am grateful. There are those better equipped for it, who can be in the limelight and hold it beautifully, imparting their knowledge and wisdom. I prefer to be behind the scenes, holding the balance and quietly getting on with my job.

Doesn’t stop me having fun. Although I must admit its difficult to joke with the angels of balance. Cause I’m heading for half a century I commented (tongue in cheek) with them that it had taken me so long I might not live long enough to make any use of the knowledge I now have. They just stared at me impassively...
Sheesh, Metatron, you could have given me angels with a sense of humour. Or maybe not...maybe I should take that back. Knowing the universe’s funny bone it’d send me some mischievous cherubs who’d wreak havoc in my life.

Brings to mind an occasion many years ago. I would religiously and diligently cleanse my chakras every day. At this time I was spending more time on my crown chakra as I was determined to get a good connection with "up there". I was so pleased when on one occasion I discovered my crown chakra was white. I continued for weeks to meticulously nurture it. Two small pure white beautiful horns started to grow out of my crown and each day they were larger until they became huge stag antlers glistening white with silver symbols hanging off them. I was over the moon but the weight of these antlers was getting too much. I was top heavy and started getting headaches, my neck stiff and sore.

It took a while but the penny finally dropped. I was taking myself too seriously and the universe was telling me to lighten up. When I "got it" the horns disappeared as did the headaches and stiffness. Since then there has been an agreement between the universal energy and I that if I get too serious they zap me with something funny. Mind you, sometimes it doesn’t feel funny at the time but on looking back I can laugh. Ah, hindsight – what a wonderful thing.

But I digress once again.

We arrived in the UK twelve years ago with nothing but four suitcases and two small children in tow. We’d left our large house, two cars, great jobs, wonderful families and friends all behind on a new adventure. Why? To this day I’m not sure what prompted us. Can only guess it was some compulsion from the universe. How different my life would be if I’d remained in Cape Town. We had everything we could have asked for and were very content.

But in our contentedness we were stagnating. My hubby had never been overseas. He was the one who suggested coming over to see what life was like on this side of the world. I was ‘gobsmacked’ - love that word. Within four months we were here.

After living in Cape Town’s gentle sacred energy it was like sticking your finger in a power plug and switching it on. London’s kundalini energy is frenetic and strong. For the five years we lived there I was on a constant roller coaster of emotion. One minute high the next plunging into the depths of despair. I never knew from one day to the next where we were being taken. Our small family unit became the one constant of stability.

‘Dark night of the soul’ doesn’t capture the experience. Would I change it? No. Would I go through it again? Emphatic no. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. We had left all our shackles behind and had to start all over again. On the one hand it was very liberating but with our social conditioning we felt we had to have everything.

I’ve learnt to think outside the box. Everything we owned in Cape Town we gave away, except for the house of course. Friends who’ve either left for elsewhere or didn’t need theirs anymore have given most of what we now have. What goes around comes around.

Does it make us any less than those who have everything? No. It has taken us a while to reach a state of contentment once again. I’m wondering if this contentment is leading us to another new adventure?


Sigh– I need to keep bearing in mind...flexibility and patience.