Intense pleasure

Friday, 24 December 2010 will forever be etched in my mind as the night of intense pleasure. The start of my new journey (and hubby’s, of course). In the hours running up to midnight when I’d handed over the torch as Keeper of Balance to someone else, I was getting a taste of what was coming (literally and figuratively). I knew something was about to happen but I kept my analytic side from creating expectations of what.

Hothead

Hubby can be such a hothead. He was one when he was 20 and at 50 he’s still one.

It all started quite peacefully on Christmas day when we phoned our daughter. She’s doing a gap year in the Australian outback so it’s difficult to get hold of her but she’d investigated where best to get a signal so we could chat. Despite having to hang over the edge of a balcony so that she could get reception, she sounded happy. Towards the end of the conversation she started to sound tearful. This is her first year away from us over Christmas. She’d also celebrated her 21^st birthday on the 21st December, so it was a double whammy.

Who?

Take a deep breath - here goes...

An entity by the name of Lady Andari briefly approached me last week. Imagine my surprise, as I’d never contemplated being in touch with an ET or even thought too deeply about them.

When a new entity enters my life they tend hang around in the background before introducing themselves almost as though I need time to adjust to them. It didn’t happen this time – instead bang! and here she is. Every being of light that has entered my life imparts knowledge and then leaves to make space for someone else. But...I have never been approached by an ET, so this is a first for me.

Receiving

Hubby bought a bouquet of flowers. Normally he hands them to me and I arrange them in the vase. This time he did the flower arranging himself, so when I came downstairs there they were on the mantelpiece.

My immediate reaction was a smile of pleasure. A brief thought flashed through my mind – a few years ago I would have been irritated. Why? Because of the way the flowers sat in the vase. Looking at them you’d instantly recognise that whoever had arranged flowers had no idea what they were doing. He’d literally shoved them in the vase.

Fight!

I woke up this morning ready for a fight. Any reason? None whatsoever – I just need to blow off some steam. The changes ahead have me wanting to bury my head in the sand, feel elated, soar with happiness only to crash to the ground with worry. The energy of balance is nowhere in sight – hightailed it out of here at a fast pace.

Flexing of muscles

I read a blog this morning http://lightworkers.org/blog/120962/final-rinse-and-spin-cycle

Extract: "That's how I feel right now. The part of the wash cycle where I'm being thrown around with crushing, bruising impacts back and forth seems to be over at last, I've been on rinse and spin for a while, and where the drum stops and drops me out remains to be seen."
Thank you for this. It’s very apt and so true. I think we’re all feeling this way, heading as we are for a very dramatic change. Depending on your perspective it could be good or bad.

Weaknesses and strengths

Strengths and weaknesses colour our lives daily. A strength can turn into a weakness and a weakness can turn into a strength. You could equate them with darkness and light. Duality in this world of polarities.

I am stubborn as an ass, pigheaded, muleheaded or whatever name you call it by. Without these traits I’d never be where I am these days. How often did I forge ahead despite all around standing in judgement and letting me know that they don’t approve of what I’m doing? Is that a weakness or a strength? Depends on what side of the fence you’re standing on. Those who were disapproving saw it as a weakness whereas it was a strength to me.

Romance

Wow. That was the week that was...

The energy build up over the last week pre- channels by Michelle – Universal Solstice and Law of Pleasure has been very strong, tiring and emotional.

Monday morning I was sleeping after working the night before and woke with an influx of energy into my sacral chakra an hour before the live channel. It has been with me since then – a strong current that has heightened my levels of sensitivity.

Orgasmic tantra

On to a subject close to my heart and one which the world views with a jaundiced eye. Say the word tantra and people have visions of free love, promiscuity, sex, sex and more sex. But that only covers one aspect of tantra.

Tantra - a sanskrit word meaning ‘woven together’.

Alchemy of tantra – to be in the moment with your divine spark weaving love through the tapestry of your life with reverence and respect.

Deranged

As a sleep technician I normally work an 11 hour shift at night monitoring and treating patients. Most of us only work two nights per week, as we can’t have our sleep techs developing a sleep disorder. We then work a day shift either running clinics or doing afternoon siesta studies.

Last week I’d completed my usual two nights in a row and was, for some reason, very sleep deprived. When this happens it tends to lower any barriers I may have and usually means I land up giggling at the silliest things. The stress of staying awake for long periods at night when your body wants to shut down does take its toll. Being friendly and compassionate to patients in the morning whilst discussing their overnight study and treatments after having had no sleep can be difficult, but as a medical professional this is the only mode you can be in. Most patients are desperate for an answer, so you push your tiredness to one side and get on with the job. Laughing is a stress release for me.

Anger

Yesterday I arrived at work feeling tired. I’d done a few nights in a row and was now back at work to do afternoon siestas. So already I was out of sorts. Not usually a problem for me but yesterday it turned into an off the scale day for emotions.

I’m normally pretty calm. When I walked in the door I was confronted with incompetence. It’s been a problem we’d faced at the centre for a while but had never really got to me. On most occasions I just shrug and get on with it but...hey, what can I say...I flipped.

Flexibility and patience

Hmm...flexibility and patience...something demanded of us as we grow and learn.

I wasn’t given much information over the years about what or who I am. It slowly trickled into my brain. I gather if I was given all the information in one go my brain would have imploded and my body would fall apart. That wouldn’t have been so great for me. I used to get so impatient and want to forge ahead and be all and everything - a fountain of knowledge, someone of great wisdom, the guru, the one who transformed people’s lives and healed the world. It’s taken me a while to realise it’s me that needs to be all those things to myself.

Forging the sword

I watched the last episode of BBC’s Merlin on Saturday night. I am the ultimate kid when it comes to anything to do with myths, legends and fairytales.

Merlin was wielding the sword of Avalon forged in the fire of a dragon’s breath. That really resonated with me and a seed was planted. Little things have been popping in and out of my head since then.

All of us are swords of light forged in the fire of a dragon’s breath. Life in this dimension is hard it doesn’t matter how pleasant or difficult you’ve had it. The harsh reality that we have collectively created tempers the steel from which we are made.

Angels of Balance

Who and what are the angels of balance?

When I first became aware of them I was busy doing a healing on a friend approximately 10 years ago. I glanced up to find two very large black and white angels in the room. One stood at her head and another one at her feet. Their presence was a puzzle to me. I’d never seen them before and unlike most angels they came with no tangible signature. I was also rather wary, as I’d never associated black with an angel.

Guardian angels

Guardian angels come in all shapes and sizes. The universe doesn’t expend huge amounts of energy creating one from scratch – it’ll use whatever is to hand. So don’t be surprised when something comes along that isn’t your idea of what an angel should look or act like. Judging in this way stops you from seeing the ‘real’ thing.

A story my daughter recently told me underlines this very strongly.