She has an amazing ability to define the undefined and put it into perspective, for which I thank her.
The changes over the last few weeks that I have been talking about (furniture and revamping) have been so effortless. Whatever I would think about would appear in an advert or in a shop, I'd simply pick it out and bring it home (or order it online).
No indecision or discovering when I got it it home, that maybe it wasn't such a good idea.
I sat in meditation yesterday outside in the sunny garden really tired, not having slept very well after a night shift on Friday night. As a result, I had no walls up and felt myself sliding into a state of simply BEing. No past, no future, no thoughts - in the now. A very calm and peaceful place.
Gradually I became aware of Athena. Over the last two years, I've slowly withdrawn from her, my guides, the unicorns, gatekeeper, etc. I had enough on my plate without having to deal with, or become dependent upon, them. I am also pretty stubborn and wanted to "do" things my way without interference. I tend, quite often, to go through a phase of leave me alone, I'll do it my way. I think I may have a slight penchant for falling flat on my face.
The way I see it is that it should come from with-in me. I don't need someone to tell me. Me, myself, I want to experience, investigate, come to my own conclusions and then integrate it. It may take me a while but I do get there in the end.
I hear her say that something will come my way soon. I can feel her implication that I place no expectations on it. Let it be what it is and allow it to evolve into something that fits me like a glove. Humph...I'll add what is left unsaid - don't interfere.
Sheesh! I've heard this before, and believe me I do try go with the flow without placing expectations upon something and sometimes I get it right. It's a habit to analyse, think and create all kinds of scenarios in my head...only to discover it's nothing like what I expect at all, either disappointing myself or discovering it is way better than I could ever have imagined. Which I suppose is great, but it does nothing to instill any kind of confidence in my ability to create. So I land being rather vague about what I want.
So far I haven't...placed any expectations. Oh goody.
?
Hang on minute...I have been in the flow for two weeks, haven't I? How come I never noticed something somewhere has changed and become very normal? I seem to be having difficulty putting two and two together.
Everything fits. I am perfectly in the flow.
This is unusual for me, because sometimes what I have in my head doesn't always quite seem to manifest in the way I desired it to. Um, let me try and quantify that statement. I do go with the flow, but it feels clunky as though I am driving a car with one wheel larger than the others. I get where I want to be but am very uncomfortable in the process. I understand the difference now as it resonates within my body. The heart and mind are in perfect harmony and therefore the creation flows. I didn't quite get the difference until now.
*Sigh* I'd like to say with confidence that I won't bollocks it up now it has been brought to my attention.
But in the meanwhile...
It feels good - Drake White
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