Through the years hubby and I have obviously done the conventional sex. We have also spent time doing the 'hot' version of tantra where you keep hitting the edge of an orgasm then cooling down and controlling it. You do this for ages before finally having an almighty orgasm...or several as the case may be. This is a state of DOing.
Lately it has become more important for us to remain in what is called a low valley orgasm. It started with our version of karezza (which we didn't know had a name for what we do until recently) and then moved on to the kind of tantra that is a follow on from karezza - or rather I should say...it is a mixture of all three depending on our mood. I cannot say for definite that I have given up completely the amazing orgasms that come with 'hot' tantra, but I have come to the realisation that it causes a sort of separation between hubby and I when it does occur. It is the 'delicious' sensations that are almost addictive that we have difficulty in 'giving up'.
But mostly we prefer to remain in the blissful state of the low valley orgasm. A state where the bodies are in relaxed peacefulness and communicate with each other and therefore the energy is very healing and nurturing. It is a state of BEing which I personally feel our world is heading toward.
It takes time, patience and experimenting to do this, but it is well worth it. The Taoists have their form of taosim/tantra, but it is not something I know much about. I can only write about what I have experienced myself.
I am adding OMing to this even though it is not all about sex, but then neither is Karezza or the milder, slower version of tantra. It is all about creating a sacred and honouring bond between two people. There are so many practices that we can take bits and pieces from to create something that suits us. Each one can be used as a stepping stone to finding your own version of what suits you.
Please go to Nicole Daedone's website OneTaste to find out more. Or watch Free Introduction to Orgasmic Meditation.
There are different forms of tantra. A favourite of ours can be found on this website - White Tiger Tantra.
A little bit about Karezza...
Karezza is Italian for 'caress' and explores connecting with the heart, using the body to express that heart love. It is a gentle, affectionate form of intercourse in which orgasm is not the goal, and ideally does not occur in either partner while making love.
It's a lovemaking that takes us away from our DOing 'rush related' and 'goal oriented' way of living into the bliss of BEing relaxed and in love. Read about my own experiences in Orgasm driven Sex.
A post from Reuniting explains it in detail. There are also links to Karessa in four easy steps (for men) and Karessa Explored taken from the Reuniting website. Karezza Korner has many posts with all kinds of questions and answers. This is you can share your story, find answers or ask questions.
Karezza is not only for couples - here is a section that is specifically for singles - so we all have the potential to change our lives whether we have a partner or not.