|Picture taken by Greg|
In the days when I was channelling Lighted Loving, they kept advising that we should love ourselves.
Yeah man, I get it.
But on reflection these days...I didn't...really.
We never know what we have until it goes missing!!
In the investigation into my perplexing menopausal symptoms I have discovered that, despite working on my emotions and beliefs, I don't very regularly acknowledge, the role that my body plays in all of this, I never really and truly felt deep gratitude.
One aspect I took for granted was my 'womanly bits'. They worked well, what more did I need to acknowledge?
Women go through stages (as do men, but as I am not a man in this lifetime I will only focus on women).
Our understanding and exploration of ourselves gets put on hold as we focus on our children. Although I attended workshops and healing sessions as well as worked full time, I was still focused on doing this for and nurturing the next generation. This was for them, not me.
I went into meditation and had a look at my vaginal canal and to my horror discovered it was shrivelled, dried out and almost frozen. I then moved up into my womb. Again it seemed like there wasn't much life in there.
This really shocked me. Where is it written that once a woman's reproductive years are finished all the fun is over. Why do I believe this instead of understanding that this is the time that I have more to offer? Emotionally I am still tied up in a tangled ball of feeling my useful days are over. Surely this is when I should be exulting in the freedom of getting to know myself. This is when I am at my most useful. The creative juices can be put to another use.
*Sigh* Another sign that I'd bought into the idea of old age.
This then got me to thinking that maybe my transmuting for the collective is not quite over. As I transmute this with-in myself, I will be helping others to transmute as well.
My current learning curve is to love my body, to rehydrate it with the beauty of MY love, which is what my body is yearning for.
I did notice briefly last week that my reproductive organs are shaped like a tree, but in my shock I didn't really take it in.
On the weekend I had a good look at the tree. The roots are the vulva, the trunk is the canal and at the top it spreads its branches out through the cervix into the womb. Energy moves up the canal into the branches and leaves of the tree. This energy is even stronger when Greg enters my canal as he is infusing me with a life force that is converted into a very powerful energy which moves out from me into my/our reality coating everything around us in love. This creates an ease with which we flow through life.
In order for it to be anything of value, both of us must be in a calm, healing and peaceful place filled with love. The two of us in meditative love making are a powerhouse of vitality and loving graceful energy.
"Last night and this morning were times of deep love and commitment. Hubby, as ever, knew instinctively what to do.
As we’d been travelling I’d been tuning in and out of the energy, watching with interest everything that was going on around and inside of me.
We retired last night and I could feel the energy within me starting to build. Hubby and I seemed to be on the same wave length…which was unusual as we have been out of step since we left the UK. It was such a pleasure to be in step once again. The kundalini was surely building since Sunday. My sacral was buzzing big time and sending ripples up and down my body.
Last night…wow…dancing in time to the music we could hear. Phwoar…it never ceases to amaze me how the energy can build up and then hover on the edge of an orgasm over a period of time…whether a day week or month and when we finally allow it to wash over us, it is so powerful it blows us both into the heart of the universe and we become larger than ever.
This morning the energy within me was quivering like the string on a bow…waiting to take us into the unknown again…and once again it was mind blowing. So much so, that the instant I orgasmed, I could feel the energy of love and pleasure anchor deep within Gaia. This was the sacred union of two souls totally in love with each other and with themselves.
Hubby looked so satisfied afterward despite having held his orgasm, as he’d received so much from the energy I sent out. He mentioned that I’d never tasted as sweet as I did this morning…like a mango. It made me smile because since I’ve been in Australia I’ve had a thing about eating mango. In fact, now that I think about it…it started just before we left the UK. I have a craving for mango…still do.
Afterward we sat in the yab-yum position, although I was not cross-legged but sitting on my haunches over him. The energy between us was zinging around…but despite it being so active, I was in a state of peaceful bliss.
He was suckling, drawing in the energy from my hearts and in this way we were cycling the energy from my hearts and breasts into his mind and higher mind. At the same time our minds, hearts and breasts were connecting and we were forming one large higher mind and heart.
We were rooted into Mother Earth through our base chakras. At the same time the energy was moving from my sacral and solar plexus to his in a circular motion.
It was such an incredibly beautiful place to be. No doing…simply being in the energy and savouring it.
Hubby does amaze me so much. He is so in tune with my body and always knows exactly what to do to get my energy moving. I heard the word ‘catalyst’…and then catalytic converter.
Later I asked him what a catalytic converter is and he said it changes dirty water into clear water. That didn’t seem to ring true but ‘them up there’ agreed that converter is correct. Hubby simply knows which stargates on my body to activate and is a catalyst in getting the energy moving. I could do this on my own…but with him it is far more powerful and in such perfect synchronicity and harmony…the two of us creating a beautiful song together that the energy reacts to, sending powerful ripples out into the world.
Living many lives together, have all come to this specific point in time when we are bringing to Earth the balanced energies of love and pleasure. This in turn will help us…and others…to understand the balanced sacred union both with-in ourselves as well as the balanced sacred union with an outside partner.
The coastal area that we are in is incredibly tranquil and beautiful. There were some rowdy swearing neighbours below us on the hill but I cleared the energy within me and they have quieted down. I have come to the conclusion that city living is not for me. It’s okay in small chunks…but as we were walking I realised how much the hyped energy of the city had kept us out of alignment.
Walking along the water’s edge I found a tree to communicate with. It welcomed me as a sister. I then went to sit down and as I was tuning into the Earth, while the others wandered amongst the rock pools, I realised I’d been talking to a She Oak. Years ago I took an essence made from this tree and when I visited the Eden Project in 2008 I made the intention that one day I would meet one in its indigenous home…and here they were. It made me truly happy and I spoke to all of them…as there were a few in that copse of trees.
We are going back there tomorrow as hubby and our daughter’s partner want to fish tomorrow…it is a short walk away so we’ll wander down there tomorrow.
My root and sacral are buzzing with energy…the kundalini is very strong.
Relaxing this afternoon in the shade, I watched our daughter and her partner. They are so suited to each other…she is so grown up and a good host…always asking if we need anything. Her young man is an excellent host and cook (just like her father). She has indeed chosen a partner so similar to her father in many ways.
It makes me smile to see hubby still trying to be the protective father by telling her how to do things and her answer that she knows what to do.
All in all a good start to the holiday with our kids :-)"
What has happened in the ensuing two and a bit years that so much loving and exploration of the beautiful world of love created through the use of our love energy has come to a standstill? Where had it disappeared to?
On reflection, I realise now that I was being asked to dive deep and find those well hidden beliefs (held by all of us) that stop me from reaching even higher states. I'd ignored this and held on to the lovely place we were. I didn't want to spoil it by going somewhere 'not so nice'. But despite clinging to this stance, everything was being nudged to the surface for acknowledgement and release. I kept twisting and turning away from it. How could one possibly want to dive into the treacherous unknown once in paradise?
It is not my job to do so, I kept telling myself. I want to remain in wonderland forever!
Yeah well, it seems I'd left wonderland anyway. A subtle slide I'd not noticed.
Time to put on my toolkit and work boots...again.
Onwards and upwards!