Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, even with tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Sunday, 11 February 2018

The Pendulum

This is a long post!

It's been a roller coaster of epic proportions these last two months, hasn't it?

Quite often I wonder when it will all blimmin' stop!

A huge pendulum swinging backwards and forwards, moving from one extreme to the other. The extreme planetary alignments, eclipses, blood and blue moons, etc. has thrown us all into a bit of a tizz.

I used to be pretty sure of an outcome. It may not have been completely what I expected but something similar to what I wanted.

These days I have no idea. Kinda feel like I am in a fog, think I am going one way, becoming disorientated and landing up elsewhere or so it seems, but in a roundabout way I get what I need  (not always aware that this is what I need lol). The road to getting there has my emotions all over the place which again is very unusual for me.

Our son came over with Greg two years ago on a working holiday visa. As the first year was ending, he applied for a second year which he was able to do as he is British. He'd worked the last six months of the first year. With the second visa, he could only do another six months and therefore after those six months he couldn't work again. We put a roof over his head and food in his belly - therefore he was dependant upon us.

I applied for permanent residency in April last year. We decided to include Traevis he is under 24, single with no children and dependant upon us.

It took a while to get an immigration officer, but when we did, with no introduction she simply started bombarding me with proof of just about everything, each one with a deadline. Backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. When I'd ask the reason, she'd quote rules at me. No explanations whatsoever.

Our daughter Ashlee had been through the Australian Immigration process, she found the immigration officers approachable and very helpful, so she was appalled at the Immigration New Zealand officers. They are very unhelpful. I read a blog or two from immigration lawyers here in NZ who say the same thing - Immigration New Zealand believes their rules are self explanatory and therefore the officers don't need to explain anything.

Good grief!! Far from it. The rules and regulations are written in such an obscure way that it could be interpreted by different people in vastly different ways. When you fill out the forms, it gets confusing trying to figure out exactly what they are asking for.

One of my stumbling blocks was my qualification. I'd had it pre-assessed a while ago in readiness for this. I could never figure out why each level of qualification either got no points or 40-50 points). I know now!

I chose 40 points as once it was formally assessed this is the level I was told it was on. Again more money. I seemed to be leaking the energy of money!

Silly me!

After much toing and froing they disallowed by qualifications points which took me under the 160 points required and therefore my application was rejected.

I found this out when we were in Sydney on holiday on 20 December. I can honestly say it was the worst moment of my life. What an awful Christmas present!

My 56th birthday was nearing. Once I hit that age I can no longer apply for any other visa than an essential skills visa which I entered the country on. This I can apply for every three years, but it will never lead to permanent residency. The whole family was in an uproar. We made the most of our three week holiday. There was nothing I could do while we were away. INZ officer was singularly unhelpful as to why she'd rejected the application, just quoting rules at me. I was so stressed I fell ill. And so did everyone else as they were appalled at the idea that we may be going back to the UK.

Greg and I are nearing pensionable age. In the UK we could work towards both the State pension and my NHS pension. Here I will have nothing as I cannot contribute to the Kiwisaver pension because I am a temp worker, whereas if I was permanent resident this wouldn't be an issue.

New Year was particularly bad. We went to a place called Thredbo, which is a ski lodge in the Snowy Mountains. Ashlee's partner's parents had organised our stay there. We were all so looking forward to hiking the mountain, but the first one to fall ill was me with the flu. I was so sick on the 6 hour drive to Thredbo. On arriving I simply collapsed into bed for the night. Everyone had a terrible night. All of us in varying states of illness over the next three days with body aches and flu like symptoms. But we made the most of it.

Once we got back to NZ, Traevis contacted a few immigration agents. One of them was very helpful. Finally we got to the bottom of the reason my qualification was rejected. She says that you'd think any qualification if accepted by NZQA assessment as being on a level with NZ qualifications, it would qualify for points. But not all do and mine is one of them. She is not sure why they've put this stupid rule in place.


Back to square one.

By this stage I was in motion to pack up and move back to UK. Stupid f****ng country thinks it's one of the big players in the world. I'm worth it, the hospital thinks so too and yet INZ are saying I'm not!

It took me many weeks to calm down. I didn't want to spend any more money. The permanent residency with all the police checks (2 countries), qualification assessment, application costs, etc. had cost me in the region of $8,000. No ways was I throwing more money at this place! Leaking leaking leaking energy...

You may have noticed that I have an aversion to authority which really came into play big time during the course of the months that this application was being examined in detail by the Immigration Officer. Maybe she felt my resentment at being made to jump through hoops so I could live in the back of beyond. I'd rant quite often, "who did she think she was".

I'd calm down and see her side, before going on the next rant.

Basically I hated being rejected. No-one likes being rejected.

Greg and I kept going backwards and forwards about returning to the UK. Traevis has no choice and I didn't like the idea of him living on the other side of the world so far away from the rest of us (NZ and Australia). We decided to make plans to return to the UK. Greg and Traevis would look for jobs there, go back, settle into their jobs and set up home, while I stayed here, sorted things from this end. I had another 10 months on my visa, but we were hoping I'd get over there before then.

Something kept pushing me and one day, on an impulse, I decided to scrape up some money, all the paperwork needed and applied for a different visa called a talent visa which automatically leads to permanent residency. I had to do this before my 56th birthday.

I held my breath in hope ... nothing happened.

In the meanwhile, we went shopping one Sunday, drove past a car sales place and Greg said "should we check out the cars". That surprised me. Greg doesn't say things like that normally. The last time he said something like that we moved to the UK! Lol. We'd sort of talked about getting a new car, once the permanent residency visa was granted, as the repayments were nearing the end. Of course this wasn't part of the new plan. But I said yes even though my heart wasn't in it.

I fell in love. Who knew this would happen - the car just reached out and grabbed me. It was a Quashqai, a fabulous car several of which we had in the UK. I'm not one to turn down a car that talks to me. All my cars have been bought this way and I've had the most amazing cars that have never given me problems. I spoke to the car salesman letting him know that I don't want to pay any more than I am currently paying on my car as I am comfortable with this amount. We sat down and worked something out.

We go home cautious about this. What if we leave, we don't want a huge debt hanging around our neck?

It was tugging at me and Greg. He is such a cautious man that when he goes on about something I know that I must sit up and take notice.

I got an email from an immigration officer in Beijing asking for further documentation - no introduction (same as the other one). I'm suspicious and phone Auckland office to find out why Beijing is dealing with my visa. She says they've been inundated and cannot cope so are sending applications offshore and mine happened to go to Beijing.

I give him what he wants and then he asks for more. I'm thinking, "oh no, here we go again".

It's been so hot and humid here for a while. Our pool has been lovely to use, but it sprung a leak at the same as all of this was going on. Greg and Traevis kept patching it up but one weekend when we were away the rip start to run the length of the pool and all the water disappeared.

I reckon this is very symbolic. Leaking pool equals leaking energy.

In the meanwhile I bought the car! But my old car is not cleared and the first week I'm still paying the old debt by debit order. I contact the car people who promise to do it and refund me. Why am I leaking money/energy? Nothing happens and the following week I pay the same debt again. The poor salesman freaks out - I think his boss was not on top of things. But it's all for a good reason. He sent me the confirmation on 8th February of all debt settled and refunded me the payments. That night I get an email from Beijing to say my visa granted.

All on the eve of my 56th birthday on the 9th.

5+6 = 11 (or 2)
9+2=11 (or 2)
2+0+1+8 = 11 (or 2)


So my birthday is a very significant day for me - all the 1s. The 8th is a completion day for me.

Oh my gosh I am so relieved and happy.

I found out afterward from my guides (who of course don't tell me anything except in hind sight!) that this was the ending of a cycle and the start of something new. Traevis needs to find his own way in life, and in order for him to do so, we needed the rejection that would send him back home. Being the stubborn person I am, I wanted him part of my plans. He will be going back to the UK to start his new life alone. His visa ends on 14 March this year. 1+4+3+2+0+1+8 = 1+9 = 1+0 = 1. Also new beginnings.

Orgasmic love making had me flying over the new world created for hours afterward.

The theme song from Charmed has been running around in my head for days...it's a programme I loved watching while we lived in London early 2000s, but not something I've thought about in years. Is there a message in this?

No comments: