Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, even with tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Chippy choppy

It has been four years since the 2012 walk-in. I would love to say it is been a deliriously happy life we lead, but I can't. It has been decidedly choppy since then.

Little did I realise how much of an adjustment it would be for both of us. We're still going through it but so far we are in one piece, slightly battered, a little stronger and, dare I say it, wiser?

I am (mostly) grateful for this as it pushes me beyond what I am capable of, stretching me to experience more of myself at a far deeper level.

Greg mirrors those very deep aspects of myself still wailing for attention that I've not bothered to look at.

Peeling away the layers of emotions and beliefs has been a way of life for me for more than 22 years. Therefore I was somewhat prepared...but not really, lol.

Quite often I find myself turning away from of the intensity and withdrawing into myself. Cowardly? I don't believe so, sometimes we need time out to understand, integrate and regroup.

But you know what?

At the end of the day it is all a story we create for ourselves to live. It is difficult to separate ourselves from the story and try something different.

Our move to the UK in 1998 started as an exciting journey. I loved the smell of London the instant I set foot in the city. The strong kundalini energy pierced my skin and soul. Sent me zooming from a gentle pace set by Cape Town to frenetic. We lapped it up in the first year, excited to join the ranks of South Africans making huge amounts of money and living the good life...until it all went pear shaped.

We hit financial rock bottom, everything stripped from us until we had nowhere to go but up. Slowly but surely we climbed the rungs. Besieged by emotions and belief systems that seemed to go on forever, we finally made it out to take a long deep breath and really enjoy ourselves.

I'm not gonna lie - despite the excitement of moving to New Zealand, in the back of both our minds is the struggle we'd had when we arrived in the UK. I felt my heart ping in horror each time we had to pay out money for our emigration to NZ. Have we laid to rest that demon or will it repeat itself?

Both of us emotionally have been feeling the build up of that little demonly niggle worming its way in and growing. It is up to us to decide whether to take this on board and run with it or change our reaction.

An evening of intimacy, love and massage changed the emotional charge. There is nothing like blanketing yourself in love to chase away those shadows. A safe space filled with no expectations, no agendas, no goals and no conditions can do untold wonders.