The unfurling relationship I have with myself

I want my emotions and body to be my own. Not someone else's. Mine and mine alone. Not a mother, sister, daughter, working colleague, friend, sex object, lover, wife or simply a woman.  


"I've been to Paradise, 
but I've never been to ME."

ME


This feeling is so very strong within, it is rather disconcerting. Long have I been any one of the above and yet I have never been ME. Truly me, without the boundaries and limitations of what others expect of me.

My emotions and body are so precious at the moment that I loathe to share them physically with anyone. I want to get to know me, the real me without any distractions.

As though I am newly born, fragile like the tender shoot of a new plant, so easily trampled if no care is taken. Lifetimes spent tightly curled up in the foetal position, unable to show the tender underbelly of who I am.

State of Grace

"Grace" is the English translation of the Greek χάρις (charis) meaning "that which brings delight, joy, happiness, or good fortune" - Wikipedia

We are entering an age where the “state of grace” is going to be the norm. Of course we’ve known that this time of change, hard though it is, is bringing the world into a time of peace and happiness.

I had an epiphany the other day, whilst rolling up the belts that we use at work. The belts are used to attach pieces of equipment to patients when we monitor them at night and they have Velcro strips at either end. These tend to get all tangled up when washed and are a nightmare to untangle. I hate this job as it takes so long and is akin to untangling a ball of wool.

It suddenly struck me that I’d lost my ability to view ‘difficulties’ in my life from a positive angle. I’d always change the energy around difficulties and this would make them easier. I’d do things like sing to the belts, for example. By creating a more positive energy around them, they miraculously seemed to untangle themselves rather than become tighter.

The elephant in the room

 

All of us are so intertwined whether we ‘know’ each other or not.

Making the changes from the 3^rd dimensional world of dense matter, negative energies and thought forms is not a piece of cake. I think it is harder than what we have, as a collective, ever faced before, mostly because we have to change upward instead of downward. It is easy enough to do the downward spiral but climbing up…now that takes a lot of effort and strength.

Having said that, it takes energy to be negative and that negativity can be very draining on us. Altering habits entrenched lifetime after lifetime takes some concerted effort. Doing the opposite also feels rather draining as we have to wrangle with and take a look at our inner demons that are manifesting outwardly. For most of us it has become the norm and is therefore far easier to sink back into habitual reactions and 'behave'.