What do you REALLY REALLY want?

 

What do you REALLY REALLY want?

This question has been plaguing me quite a bit these last six months. I don’t really know as I have so many options facing me.

Blimmin’ indecision…

When I look at each option I feel a flush of - ‘yeah that’s it!’ and then the doubts set in.

The problem is that each one seems so very far apart from each other. I think I might have written about this before. It is as though I am supposed to do ALL of it despite the seemingly vast difference. And yet are they?

Everything in our lives and past lives are coming together for this specific time when things are changing. Each life might have been incredibly different from another for a very good reason. It makes us 'all-rounders' with vast amounts of experience and understandings.

One of the roads I have been faced with is studying again. So far what we have had to do, in spite of slight trepidation, has been great. Being faced with a challenge has always got my blood pumping and this was no exception. I've been teetering on the brink of deciding whether I want to go ahead and put the cherry on top by studying for a two year degree.

*Sigh* I am not great at studying…hated it at school and at college. I managed to scrape through and yet when putting the studies into action…now there is the difference. I really get the hang of something with hands on experience rather than the dry old way of sitting at a desk learning theories. Even if the subject interests me, I find myself either starting to nod off or my mind wanders.

Thankfully what I will study will be a compromise between the two. Kinda like an apprenticeship. And because I work in the field I will be able to apply what I learn almost instantly, so it shouldn’t be quite as bad as I think.

This was my only reason for hesitating. I know I can do it…but do I really WANT it? Am I that excited about it?

Haha…last week as I was pondering this, hubby walked in and starting singing ‘What do you want? What do you REALLY REALLY want?’ Put me in mind of the Spice Girl’s song Wannabe. *Snort* and then to top it all that night I heard the song being played as a car drove past and then later on a quiz programme on TV!

Okay…I get it!

To answer the last question - yes I am excited - I love what I do…and yet the boring stuff…

I have decided it is up to me – my mind and emotions - to make it different and far more exciting than my perception currently is, cos at the moment I am still stuck in the ‘old’.

Hubby is very supportive and urging me to do it. Hehe…I suspect he is thinking about the money!

I finally came to grips with it when I realised that I am being presented with this opportunity because with the current energy influx, there will be dramatic advances in this field (and other fields of science)…and I will be at the forefront of this. Who can turn down a challenge like this? To take all my metaphysical knowledge and slowly apply it to the current medical model. This is what I do at the moment - although I don't do it blatantly or blab about it.

Sleep is such a relatively new field - very little is known about it and yet it fascinates many. So everything we do is research that helps us to understand.

Yeeks…yesterday I committed myself to this path because I was asked very bluntly – YES or NO.

Just gotta get my head (pun intended) around it.

Strangely enough over the last few weeks whilst monitoring patients at night, some of the video screens have captured sparkles of energy moving around the patients - almost like somebody had waved a magic wand. I’ve never seen this before.

My colleague said it’s probably just dust floating around… :-)

And you know what…
Why should I choose - that is old paradigm.

Why not have it ALL?