I'm hankering after my old job and have been for a while. Despite that position being stressfully busy, we always had a laugh, socialised a lot and had fun blowing off steam. There is nothing like that here, although I do get on with everyone, but unfortunately there is no tight cohesive camaraderie, no happiness with what they do. It's just a job that brings in money.
I'm used to working with those that are passionate about what we do.
I should not be comparing the two, but I do. I also wonder what my current work place is reflecting back at me.
I've really been going overboard with this torturous going round and round in circles wondering if I should apply for my old job, which has not been filled successfully yet. There is also a deputy position that will be coming up soon. Oh gawd I am so tempted. My name is still up on the website as a current employee. My ex-bossman has not taken my name down as he considers me an honorary employee :-) .
Greg is also not happy in his job, which again has had me wondering if we should go back to the UK.
It's become a huge elephant in the room that I keep trying to avoid.
I love the lifestyle here, the very friendly people and the easy going work/life balance. I think for both Greg and I, this place is idyllic - it's just the jobs that really irk.
My colleague says going back helped to realise how much better off he is here. Said he found the pollution, busy-ness, overpopulation, noise and traffic too much to bear. His 20 year love affair with London is over. He is back and very pleased to be back. Said the return trip was well worth it, to help get his head in the right space.
Do I really want the hassle of packing up and moving? Both our children want to go back, but are staying for the time being to experience NZ. Will that change in a year? I don't know.
It took us about five years of hell to find our feet in the UK. I know we've changed much since then and it will not be a pattern that will be repeated. I was always aware that coming to NZ was completing a cycle of lifetimes, as this was where I first incarnated in a physical body. Whether I was supposed to be here for a short or long time, has never been clarified. I have come full circle and kind of feel a little lost having achieved my goal. What now?
I have become mind-numbingly bored with this job. It has been creeping up without me knowing.
About three weeks ago I asked the colleague with whom I was on night shift whether he got bored with the job. Don't ask me where that question came from - it just popped out.
He said no, but was I bored? Bloody hell - I had a blinding insight that yes I was. There's no challenge left, I've learned quite a bit over the last year. But what the hell?
Very little has changed. So we plod on with the same old same old. My previous job was always morphing and changing with the needs of the patients. We were always getting together to discuss strategies on how to make it work as the demands became greater and greater. I really enjoyed the variety and trying something new.
I was so sure change was coming and there has been some movement, but nothing that I would consider radical. It could be so much more than it is now.
Now that is something I could sink my teeth into.