My work colleague that emigrated here from the UK has been giving me some hard-hitting talks this week.
The Universe is now bringing to my attention, my need to let our son go. So much so, that they sent both him and my colleague halfway round the world, following me to make sure I get the message! "Put your breast back in your bra", "it's your fault he is like he is" and "what are you going to do about it?". Geez talk about not mincing words. Really shook me, my first instinct to deny what was going on and continue to bury my head in the sand.
Our son and I are very close but this week I have come to realise that I smother him, shoulder his responsibilities and by doing so, have not allowed him to grow through his own discomfit, making excuses for him that I believed so that I did not have to confront that side of myself.
I've not treated either of our children differently, but our daughter is a stronger personality who moved out to stand on her own two feet away from my shadow and through adversity has grown into a strong woman. I can only guess that our son, 5 years younger, saw all the crap she went through and decided "nah, not for me" and allowed me to continue to take charge of his life.
I understand now that if our daughter had been anything like this, I'd have two grown-up children to look after. Luckily for me, she isn't.
I have tried to let go. We sent him to Australia for a gap year, but he was so homesick that I caved in and changed his return ticket after 4 months.
My hubby, if I'd allowed it, would have no problem throwing him out to stand on his own two feet, but I stopped him.
Sigh - what is it about me that makes it so difficult to be tough on my child? I have no qualms about pulling others up, but my own child - that is a different story.
Guess I gotta grow some and get with the program both for mine and his sake.
The Universe is now bringing to my attention, my need to let our son go. So much so, that they sent both him and my colleague halfway round the world, following me to make sure I get the message! "Put your breast back in your bra", "it's your fault he is like he is" and "what are you going to do about it?". Geez talk about not mincing words. Really shook me, my first instinct to deny what was going on and continue to bury my head in the sand.
Our son and I are very close but this week I have come to realise that I smother him, shoulder his responsibilities and by doing so, have not allowed him to grow through his own discomfit, making excuses for him that I believed so that I did not have to confront that side of myself.
I've not treated either of our children differently, but our daughter is a stronger personality who moved out to stand on her own two feet away from my shadow and through adversity has grown into a strong woman. I can only guess that our son, 5 years younger, saw all the crap she went through and decided "nah, not for me" and allowed me to continue to take charge of his life.
I understand now that if our daughter had been anything like this, I'd have two grown-up children to look after. Luckily for me, she isn't.
I have tried to let go. We sent him to Australia for a gap year, but he was so homesick that I caved in and changed his return ticket after 4 months.
My hubby, if I'd allowed it, would have no problem throwing him out to stand on his own two feet, but I stopped him.
Sigh - what is it about me that makes it so difficult to be tough on my child? I have no qualms about pulling others up, but my own child - that is a different story.
Guess I gotta grow some and get with the program both for mine and his sake.
