2022

 Coming to NZ has been revelatory.

I knew I was coming back to complete a cycle but never imagined how deep I would dive. Thought it would be a bed of roses lol. It started off really well slowly descending into a very long "dark night of the soul" without me noticing. This mirrored my first physical incarnation as I acclimatised to being in a body. I initially felt the connection to Source which slowly slipped away as the denseness took over.

But this is not to say that NZ is a dark place. It isn't. It's just the place I needed to be to not only complete the cycle but also to know and experience the deep dive of lifetimes. It is time to go up and back to the space of being part of Source.

2022 feels like it will be lighter but as with 20/21 still need to be flexible as plans go awry. My human self experiences this as a disastrous situation. 

Living in the NOW is a hard lesson. I didn't realise how much I plan ahead. I feel myself getting anxious and overthinking instead of allowing.

Let go, let go and allow. Harder than I ever imagined.

Nothing about this past year and the move has proved as we planned it.  Everything is pretty much up in the air, except that we are to leave NZ. There is a deep pulsing to leave but where we'll be in the next year, isn't clear even though there is a plan in place.

At this stage, we are not even sure we will get to Australia for the 3 months as planned to catch up with family and friends and to attend Ashlee's wedding. Flights are booked for both Australia and UK but these have been cancelled in the past. Forcing/willing it to happen doesn't work any more.

I will probably look back at our time here with fondness but at the moment that's not a word I'd use.