The long road to creation

Athena and Aeolus...

I've not written about them for many years. It's not that they aren't part of our lives, they've taken a back seat so that Greg and I can get on with our human lives. No interference, no unwarranted messages, ideas or feelings. An acceptance by all that it's a process that we need to go through. I've not once felt the urge to ask, instead allowed the path to unfold as it needs to.

Wow, what a journey it's been.

Today I felt the urge to connect with Athena once again. 

One thought immediately popped into my mind unbidden is my time now to do what I should be doing?

Eh? where the heck did that come from?

Her answer it's always been your time.  

No explanation just an insightful understanding. Every minute of our lives, it's our time. What we do with that specific moment in time will create. Waiting for the moment when it's our time simply keeps us looking to the future instead of living in the moment and understanding the potential in every space in time.

Of course this is not new knowledge. Today it seemed to take on a greater meaning but for the life of me I'm not sure how or am able to explain in a deep and meaningful way. 

The connection with her is so familiar, joyful and comforting, I wonder how I didn't miss it?

Many many years ago while still living in the UK, I think it must have been around 2008 or so, I started on creating a portal to the new world. It took months and months of working on this portal and once the portal was created, I was able to pass through into a blank canvas of the new world that was to be created. 

I remember entering this blank space and wondering where to start. It made me sit down and think about what I wanted in this world. It was difficult as I only had a human 3D dense perspective from which to take ideas. I'd meditate for hours on this and slowly the world came into view. Admittedly there was a LOT of tweaking. 

The end result had me in a state of joyful happy tears and the wish to stay there forever. I came to the realisation at one stage that I was not able to be present in my current life and do what was necessary.

With a sigh of regret I closed the door to this world, knowing that when I and the world was ready, I could open the door once again.

Greg and I have been isolated from our family, so very much more tangibly felt this year.

Our lives were too full.

That's it in a nutshell. We were always out and about, socialising, travelling and basically living life as much as we could, anchoring energy wherever we went. That was meant to be.

As usual things move on into the next phase.

We were given the opportunity to be in a safe space where we'd have so much time on our hands we'd get bored. This has given us a chance as individuals, not only as a couple, to really get to grips without our inner world and to grow in ways we never thought possible. 

It's been quite a process.

My foray into leadership these last 3 years has given me insight into how to create a world within which others can blossom to their full potential. And yes, it's taken much tweaking that is ongoing and constant. Just when I think I can relax, it's time for change again. Nothing is static, our world is always in the flow of change.

I've had a knowing that this year would see the fruition and completion of my long term many layered plan at work which has been 3 years in the making. It's been an on off process that often had me wonder if I was on the right path. It's easy to get disillusioned. Slowly the objects in the way either dissolved or a different path was revealed.

The process will be completed on 1 December.

Where to next?

 

Change again

I wrote this in August

So, a new broom sweeps clean.

Waikato District Health Board is once again going through massive changes.

Our new COO was given the task a few years ago to draw up a report about the ailing DHB which was quite damning. She was then employed end last year to make the changes she'd recommended.

About two weeks ago the Change Proposal was released. I read through it kinda wondering what difference it would make as I've seen so many change proposals which never really "change" much.

I attended one of the talks she gave and was quite impressed with her. 

She has given staff the opportunity to have their say in consultation in a one-on-one, which has been snapped up by so many she's had to extend the time.

I think the bulk of the issues really came to light during the first COVID lockdown. Lack of transparency. I get so frustrated and spend hours trying to find out who does what (all our managers had disappeared to work from home). She mentioned that this lack of transparency is appalling. It's kind of like everyone has their own little kingdom and try to give out as little as possible about what they do, so no-one knows how little they actually do. 

I, for example, have no idea what my business managers and service manager actually do cos it's certainly not what I'd think they should be doing. Most of the items that need attending to filter their way down through the line until they land on my desk. As a result I am not just leading the team, I am managing like a business/service manager. I challenge but as I have no idea what their job description is it's difficult. I often get told that managers delegate. That I understand, but there is delegation and then there's avoiding work!

What I experienced in the UK is totally different - all service managers and business managers are hands on and always visible. This lot of managers here at the DHB seldom if ever visit us, have no inclination to find out what we do and make it clear that they don't want to know when I talk about our work. The service manager doesn't know who I am outside of meetings. If he sees me, looks right through me as though I don't exist.

Anyways, the change maker got around this by making every department head report to her monthly for 6 months with reams of paperwork. She was astounded how many didn't know what the departments under their remit did and when asked about something they would hide away under some pretense or another. It seems as though she's seen through all this nonsense and weeded out those that don't deserve their positions.

Well, the upshot is that there are 60 positions being disestablished and 20 new ones created. A complete restructure that has rattled so many cages, there are huddles of people around the hospital discussing things in whispers. We can only assume that these are the ones that are in the firing line.

Clinical Operations, Service Manager and 2 x Business Managers under which Respiratory/Sleep falls are all being disestablished.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am. But I do have misgivings about who will take the new position of Operations Manager. But I suppose I have to think that it cannot be any worse than what we've had!

I feel so old and jaded lol.

Seen and experienced too much to be more than skeptical.

That was then...

******

Now

There has been so much bad publicity for this DHB that they are now paralysed by indecision.

The change maker has been accused of bullying and is on stress leave.

So once again we are stuck without any resolution and continue to be run with inefficiency, managers indifferent to the struggle of those on the ground.

I keep hearing this song by Aerosmith Dream On