"Thank you for what you have done for my brother."
I heard this several times from both Greg's sisters. The first time it was said, we were sitting chatting in the cool of the shaded house the first Sunday I arrived in Cape Town.
To say I was gobsmacked is an understatement.
It peaked my curiosity as I wasn't sure what she was talking about as the other sister nodded in agreement, I questioned what she meant.
"He has changed so much. I can tell from our correspondence and the chats we have."
They both asked me how I did it - how did I take the chip off his shoulder?
As she said this, it jogged my memory about Greg's PTSD. I'd forgotten about it. It really touched me that they'd noticed and expressed their happiness.
A few years after we'd settled in the UK he was diagnosed. It made sense that he'd been traumatised by what he'd seen as a 17 year old in the army. So much death and destruction surrounding an impressionable young teenager forced against his will into compulsory training as soon as he left school and then shipped off to fight in guerilla bushwarfare on the border between Angola and Namibia. As a medic, besides fighting, he was the one that patched up the wounded until help arrived. He always said that he'd experienced so much grief during that time, that he'd hardened himself not to show any emotion.
Compulsory training was the fate of every young male South African in those days, so I reckon most of the South African males around Greg's age suffer similarly.
Truthfully I don't know what I did. Once I knew what I was dealing with I could adapt how I reacted to him.
Whilst I was there, Greg received an email from one of his sisters thanking him for supporting me in both my studies, work and the new life I am forging for both of us.
I wondered at this when he told me.
It just seems so normal for us to support and accept each other
According to my mother most people are fascinated by the fact that not only do we go where the other goes, we are making a huge change at our age (lol...what age?!).
Really?
I suppose she is right. I have many friends who would either like to move countries or their partner wants to move, but one or another of them won't. So they stay where they are. Who am I to say whether it is right or wrong?
What I do know is that life is an adventure to be lived. Grab it with both hands and JUST DO IT!
But...this is all about accepting your partner, baggage and all.
Greg was just as supportive of me when I was diagnosed with post natal depression after Traevis's birth and the suicide attempts. It was a harrowing time for both of us.
And yet we've seen each other through the difficult times. It wasn't easy, but nothing ever is.
It made us stronger in our relationship, as we stumbled through the debris of our emotions loving each other despite our shortcomings.
To say I love him more today than I did when we first met 30 years ago, is an understatement.
We are still learning as we go along. Our relationship is not without its challenges. Yes, we do irritate each other and fight, but underneath is the strong bond.
How can a relationship ever stagnate? There is always something new to learn as we go deeper within ourselves.
This song always reminds me of investigating our emotions and life, the music touching a deep core within me.
I heard this several times from both Greg's sisters. The first time it was said, we were sitting chatting in the cool of the shaded house the first Sunday I arrived in Cape Town.
To say I was gobsmacked is an understatement.
It peaked my curiosity as I wasn't sure what she was talking about as the other sister nodded in agreement, I questioned what she meant.
"He has changed so much. I can tell from our correspondence and the chats we have."
They both asked me how I did it - how did I take the chip off his shoulder?
As she said this, it jogged my memory about Greg's PTSD. I'd forgotten about it. It really touched me that they'd noticed and expressed their happiness.
A few years after we'd settled in the UK he was diagnosed. It made sense that he'd been traumatised by what he'd seen as a 17 year old in the army. So much death and destruction surrounding an impressionable young teenager forced against his will into compulsory training as soon as he left school and then shipped off to fight in guerilla bushwarfare on the border between Angola and Namibia. As a medic, besides fighting, he was the one that patched up the wounded until help arrived. He always said that he'd experienced so much grief during that time, that he'd hardened himself not to show any emotion.
Compulsory training was the fate of every young male South African in those days, so I reckon most of the South African males around Greg's age suffer similarly.
Truthfully I don't know what I did. Once I knew what I was dealing with I could adapt how I reacted to him.
Whilst I was there, Greg received an email from one of his sisters thanking him for supporting me in both my studies, work and the new life I am forging for both of us.
I wondered at this when he told me.
It just seems so normal for us to support and accept each other
According to my mother most people are fascinated by the fact that not only do we go where the other goes, we are making a huge change at our age (lol...what age?!).
Really?
I suppose she is right. I have many friends who would either like to move countries or their partner wants to move, but one or another of them won't. So they stay where they are. Who am I to say whether it is right or wrong?
What I do know is that life is an adventure to be lived. Grab it with both hands and JUST DO IT!
But...this is all about accepting your partner, baggage and all.
Greg was just as supportive of me when I was diagnosed with post natal depression after Traevis's birth and the suicide attempts. It was a harrowing time for both of us.
And yet we've seen each other through the difficult times. It wasn't easy, but nothing ever is.
It made us stronger in our relationship, as we stumbled through the debris of our emotions loving each other despite our shortcomings.
To say I love him more today than I did when we first met 30 years ago, is an understatement.
We are still learning as we go along. Our relationship is not without its challenges. Yes, we do irritate each other and fight, but underneath is the strong bond.
How can a relationship ever stagnate? There is always something new to learn as we go deeper within ourselves.
This song always reminds me of investigating our emotions and life, the music touching a deep core within me.
