I am in the midst of understanding the concept of acceptance (and maybe even surrendering) in a far deeper way than ever before.
I have become pretty cautious in my later years. I used to be quite impulsive and get myself into all kinds of trouble - mostly financial. Slowly I started to realise that maybe simply jumping in feet first was not always a good idea.
After drowning in the quagmire of our finances, I had a huge breakthrough. It took a concerted effort to face my fear of being financially well off and happy, a little voice in the back of my mind telling me that something will go wrong or I will be punished somehow. That's a story for another time.
This financial fear still raises its head occasionally, but they are brief little niggles...until the beginning of April. We'd decided to put in an offer on another house. I was very cool with the idea, confident all would be well even though it would cost a heck of a lot more money...until that night when I climbed into bed and my mind started throwing up all kinds of negatives.
For the first time ever and very spontaneously, whilst in the throes of deep seated spine jangling fear, a part of me moved into a peaceful state of acceptance, embracing the fear with love. It wasn't a gushy overpowering sort of love. It wasn't even gentle. It was just there and in the "thereness" the fear dissipated.
Our mind is not meant to be our enemy. It is an incredible computer. It's main purpose is to help us negotiate this realm of reality and yet, due to our fear, it has taken over as the master in control of everything, as it tries to cope and make our lives "better". It was never meant to play this role, but bless it, it is doing its best.
So...last night I had my appraisal. In the midst of it I was asked if I'd like to set up learning modules for the other technicians.
Eh?
To say I was speechless was an understatement. I mumbled something as my brain fumbled around with the enormity of that question.
I love teaching. 20 years ago when I joined a developing circle, a request was made by my mother and her friends asking if I'd teach them how to meditate. I found myself blossoming. When I first started as a sleep tech, I'd set up teaching days and get different consultants to come in and talk about a topic of interest to us. Lately, because of the exams that three of us are due to write, I've again organised the consultants to give us some teaching sessions.
I love it, whether I am setting up learning sessions or doing the teaching myself. I have always taught something in some way, somehow.
In my current job, whether I am running a clinic or doing a night shift, I am constantly mentoring fellow colleagues or teaching patients. Again, I reiterate, I LOVE it.
To be given this beautiful apple on a platter...
I am following Athena's advice and reigning my mind. It keeps on wanting to go off at a tangent, while my body buzzes in excitement with the concept.
I have become pretty cautious in my later years. I used to be quite impulsive and get myself into all kinds of trouble - mostly financial. Slowly I started to realise that maybe simply jumping in feet first was not always a good idea.
After drowning in the quagmire of our finances, I had a huge breakthrough. It took a concerted effort to face my fear of being financially well off and happy, a little voice in the back of my mind telling me that something will go wrong or I will be punished somehow. That's a story for another time.
This financial fear still raises its head occasionally, but they are brief little niggles...until the beginning of April. We'd decided to put in an offer on another house. I was very cool with the idea, confident all would be well even though it would cost a heck of a lot more money...until that night when I climbed into bed and my mind started throwing up all kinds of negatives.
For the first time ever and very spontaneously, whilst in the throes of deep seated spine jangling fear, a part of me moved into a peaceful state of acceptance, embracing the fear with love. It wasn't a gushy overpowering sort of love. It wasn't even gentle. It was just there and in the "thereness" the fear dissipated.
Our mind is not meant to be our enemy. It is an incredible computer. It's main purpose is to help us negotiate this realm of reality and yet, due to our fear, it has taken over as the master in control of everything, as it tries to cope and make our lives "better". It was never meant to play this role, but bless it, it is doing its best.
So...last night I had my appraisal. In the midst of it I was asked if I'd like to set up learning modules for the other technicians.
Eh?
To say I was speechless was an understatement. I mumbled something as my brain fumbled around with the enormity of that question.
I love teaching. 20 years ago when I joined a developing circle, a request was made by my mother and her friends asking if I'd teach them how to meditate. I found myself blossoming. When I first started as a sleep tech, I'd set up teaching days and get different consultants to come in and talk about a topic of interest to us. Lately, because of the exams that three of us are due to write, I've again organised the consultants to give us some teaching sessions.
I love it, whether I am setting up learning sessions or doing the teaching myself. I have always taught something in some way, somehow.
In my current job, whether I am running a clinic or doing a night shift, I am constantly mentoring fellow colleagues or teaching patients. Again, I reiterate, I LOVE it.
To be given this beautiful apple on a platter...
I am following Athena's advice and reigning my mind. It keeps on wanting to go off at a tangent, while my body buzzes in excitement with the concept.
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