Exposed and to a degree...vulnerable

 

Today is a day I keep thinking, ‘What’s the point?’ and want to throw my hands up in the air.

When I have a day like this I know it is not the actual question that is relevant. It has taken me years to figure out why I have them. I used to think it meant that I’d lost faith. It doesn’t.

It simply means I have reached a zero point or time out. To stand still and BE in this time between – a no-breath time. No plans, no figuring things out..there is no point as this is a time of no-thing and all that will happen is that I will become frustrated. And so I've learnt to accept it and simply BE.

It always reminds me of a tsunami where the water ebbs away as it is drawn into the wave that is being made. The seashore/ocean floor is exposed and to a degree vulnerable. It is that point when everything seems to stop and wait with bated breath before the wave breaks onto new shores and higher ground.

It seems that even my fig leaf has disappeared with the retreating water.

 

There has been so much change happening, minute by minute that I have become a master at surfing the wave of change, being dumped by the wave, almost drowning, then climbing back on the board as I clear out and go deeper each time to ferret out those deeply held patterns and beliefs.

This is the time when I know I am going to jump in frequency and therefore gain greater understandings and insights. I'm gathering myself together, re-grouping, for this leap.

I know what insights I have asked for. Of course it has to do with intimate relations. Me thinks I’m on the verge of finding the answer welling up from within to sweep me away on a new adventure of exploration.

Not sure if I will need a surfboard, hand glider…or maybe a chandelier or two :-)

P.S.

Hehe...just realised I typed 'hand' glider instead of 'hang' glider. Googled to find this...maybe we'll be needing some delicate touchscreen friendly gloves instead - it might not be a typo after all!