Come Undone

Last night was the most amazing night of loving that I've ever experienced...and that is saying something!

Hubby gave me a massage for the first time since the abstinence started in mid-March.

WOW! So much has changed in the energy interaction between us. His fingers expressed the rich depth of his love, patience, worship, honour, joy, respect, happiness, innocence, pleasure...you name it, it was there in its full colour spectrum, transporting me to wondrous experiences of sensual delight - each emotion etched within my Heart, my body responding in ways it hasn't ever done before, my mind totally blissed out, not once stirring to interfere.



It felt like hubby was writing everything he was feeling into my heart and every cell of my body. Heart to Heart, Soul to Soul, Body to Body. I didn't want the experience to end...and it hasn't. It continues to flow throughout my body wrapping me in his warm loving embrace.

I do believe the change is that I am far more open to receiving his love, than I've been before.

Imagine my surprise and delight when the fairies appeared. I've not interacted with them for what seems to be an age. They added playful innocence to the evening. We talked, loved and laughed.

Before we started I'd asked for some guidance about divine sex. I felt that we were about to embark on an adventure we'd never had before.

Orgasms have, in the past, been expansive, explosive and mind-boggling, shooting out of the body and penetrating the world around us - and yet we still felt the amazing after effects of pleasure. When we moved on and started Karezza it kept us in a low level orgasm of pleasure and arousal - in love with life and taught us to keep our energy levels consistent rather than giving it away (which, towards the end we did and felt the drain of something not quite right).

But last night - I am still trying to figure out this morning what was different. The orgasm (which was a mixture of passionate, explosive orgasm and low level orgasm) has remained with me today. It did not to explode out of me as it has in the past, but seemed to circulate around my body and nudged hubby into orgasm too. In the past when I'd have an experience like this, I'd land up crying as the orgasm released deeply held emotions.

This time it had me laughing which seemed to fuel the orgasm into continuing to undulate its way through my body.

Our bodies have been re-wired in a way that keeps our energy within our own energetic system rather than sending it out into the world, even though the energy will be felt by others. Our individual energy isn't to be shared any longer, much like it is not our place to 'heal' people any more. 

Even though hubby and I are connected during lovemaking, we circulate the energy in a way that doesn't deplete either one of us. It is an equality of energy exchange that I've never experienced before (or I should say that I thought I'd experienced but nah ah, not even close!)

 It was beautiful and extremely difficult to capture in words. I will find out more as I get to grips with this new state of being.

Oddly enough...or maybe not, I felt like a virgin - filled with gentle anticipation and excitement. I suppose it was a 'virgin' me with the new re-wired body.

Oh, what a beautiful thought. The time will come when ALL virgins will experience, on their first night, the depth of love, honour and respect I had last night. Indeed every lovemaking experience should be a virgin experience.

We (as in humanity) are together creating the most amazing world.

We'd had the music was on shuffle last night. I'd simply let the music flow over me without taking too much notice, but one of the songs poignantly stands out and sticks in my head today - Duran Duran's Come Undone.

I am indeed blessed to be in a committed union with this amazing Soul who agreed to walk with me in the physical through thick and thin.

I love you Cottie, more than you can ever understand. Thank you.

May we continue to walk together in this realm, our love for each other continuing to gain depth, richness and beauty far beyond our wildest dreams.

Here are the lyrics with the meanings below in Italics

Mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin
The perfect pure woman, seemingly created for him

I've been waiting for you
He's kept single, waiting for a woman like her to arise

Signed, with a home tattoo,
He tattoos her name on himself

Happy birthday to you was created for you
The tattoo is a gift, a promise to this woman

(Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can't I believe you're taking my heart
To pieces)
She sees his love, his devotion, but she's scared, she's been hurt before...she's afraid to care.

Oh, it'll take a little time,
Time heals all wounds

Might take a little crime
Sometimes you have to do something dangerous...nothing ventured, nothing gained

To come undone now
To come undone, to admit to your feelings, and open up
(PRECHORUS)
We'll try to stay blind
They will ignore

To the hope and fear outside
What other people say, that it will last, or it won't last, whatever happens is their affair, no one else's

Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
He wants her to stay the same, don't change he loves her like she is

And blow me in to cry
And when she thinks she can't take it anymore, he'll be there for her

(CHORUS)
Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone
(repeat)

(Verse 2)
Words, playing me deja vu
Deja vu, meaning seeming to happen again...he fears she might just be going through the motions

Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before
She might not actually love him back, shes just regurgitating the words back to him

Chill, is it something real
He tries to stay calm, to try to think logically about love

Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers
He wants to know if something so deep can be fake

(Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can I believe you're taking my heart
To pieces)
She answers him, letting him know that she is giving in to her emotions, and cares about him

Lost, in a snow filled sky, we'll make it alright
To come undone now
They are lost in love together, and they will face any problems they have in the future together...