tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483637266259909720.post5384779982921135956..comments2023-08-13T12:49:02.870+00:00Comments on Love and Happiness: The Lazy Way to Stay in LoveKaren Cottlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00760436832184298779noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483637266259909720.post-5023128478550312982012-07-01T01:11:36.162+00:002012-07-01T01:11:36.162+00:00You explained it very well. Got it now. Thank yo...You explained it very well. Got it now. Thank you.Dorothynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483637266259909720.post-49410840789317295072012-06-30T22:10:23.178+00:002012-06-30T22:10:23.178+00:00The only answer I can give is to use my own experi...The only answer I can give is to use my own experience, Dorothy. <br />I know that I could never never understand where any of this was my part, no matter how often it was explained to me...until one day I had an AHA moment and finally 'got' it on. <br />Basically we have hundreds of unknown thought forms running around in the background. So as much as I wanted to believe that I wanted a certain kind of loving and lifestyle it was merely a surface thought without substance and underneath there was a counter thought going on saying it was impossible. It was this thought form that was persistent and was backed up by my emotions and so created my reality. Once this hidden programme and emotion was cleared everything automatically fell into place and I didn't have to struggle to keep reinforcing it with affirmations the idea of what I wanted...it simply happened because there was nothing to counteract what I was really feeling and thinking.<br />Of course your husband has his own stuff, but he can only give you as much as your mind construct allows him to.<br />So when my husband was NOT wanting the intimacy of cuddling and simply being with me, I did not realise that underneath my idea of what I wanted was another programme running that said it was impossible. Brainwashing into believing that this is how it is and it cannot change.<br />Sometimes it takes a while to see this, as we clear away the debris of the programming that has been instilled within us.<br />I am not sure what else to say to you, Dorothy, except hang in there, sweetheart...it does get better.<br />Hugs<br />KarenKaren Cottlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00760436832184298779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483637266259909720.post-25149937244088475992012-06-30T14:04:31.384+00:002012-06-30T14:04:31.384+00:00After I read your next message, now I feel like th...After I read your next message, now I feel like the whole tangled mess is my issue....doesn't any of the way any relationship goes belong to the other person? Doesn't it take two? I am confused. I have no control over what he does, be it work 7 days a week, to not kissing me when I was the one who initiated it. He shocked me when he told me he didn't like kissing when I asked him why he didn't do it anymore, I certainly do!! I know I am in this relationship to learn something and I figure it's to teach me what I DON'T want anymore, ie discernment as to what is right for me instead of tolerance for what is present. He's got his own stuff to learn.<br /><br />One of these days I will understand this relationship stuff, life stuff and hopefully will be able to see what you see, be where you are.<br /><br />Meanwhile, I will keep on working at it.....with a long way to go no doubt.Dorothynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4483637266259909720.post-15803290682323438892012-06-30T11:03:24.103+00:002012-06-30T11:03:24.103+00:00Absolutely right on target for my relationship. W...Absolutely right on target for my relationship. When we moved here, working 7 days a week to exhaustion led to NO non sexual contact from my husband, including kissing. If contact was initiated that was the expectation. I tried to change things up but only one goal was ever in his mind so I gave up. We lost intimate connection and here we are years later. <br />Good article, thank you. Good to know I have a a real foundation behind those feelings and not that I'm unreasonable!Dorothynoreply@blogger.com